Merry Woofmas!

So, at last, I am off on my hols to the countryside, which is where every dog deserves to be at this time of year. In my humble opinion, of course.

Did I mention that I am on a very strict regime? I’m sorry to raise the thorny issue of diets but even we dogs have to be careful about putting on those excess pounds. A girl must watch what she eats if she is to retain her shapely figure.

I see that Oakley, a rather handsome Golden Retriever, has been crowned PDSA Pet Fit Camp Champ. What a mouthful! In more ways than one! According to London’s Metro, it seems Oakley had to swap his rich tea biscuits and sedentary routine for a regime of long walks.

But what is he eating now? That’s what I want to know. The mistress has put me on the really serious stuff – pellets! I ask you! I used to have bonios, mini chops, bacon snacks, salmon burgers, shapes, markies – you name it, I ate it. Now I don’t even get a whiff of a snack before the morning walk. How would you fancy being put through your paces round the park without anything inside you? It’s no fun, mark my words. If I’m lucky, I get fresh fruit. The mistress has hot water and lemon so that she can “detox” first thing. Really!

But I do have a serious message; don’t overindulge during the festivities! I learnt my lesson the hard way. Personally, I blame the diet; it’s far too strict and I get hungry so I get my snacks where I can find them, which, to be honest is on the street. I hear even Giles Coren, Gordon Ramsay’s sidekick on TV, has tried this free food from the street malarkey (or bins, more realistically).

Anyway, I overindulged – at least I waited until the Christmas party season was well underway – and the mistress had to rush me to the vet. Twice. She wasn’t happy; in fact, she cried quite a lot. Honestly! But in the meantime, there’s been a very nasty consequence; the mistress has threatened to send my Christmas present back because “there’s no more cash in the bank”! By the time she paid for my brief stay at the vets, which would have equalled a night at Claridges – or so she claims (!), she said there was no money for special gifts this year. So, everyone, you’ve been warned. She who overindulges, does not get the big fat present under the tree.

Wherever you are spending the festive season, I wish you well.

Woof Woof