Woof Woofington

While the cat's away...

As if saving a stranded American isn't enough drama for one week, the Mistress went into hospital yesterday for an operation.

We (the Mistress' other half and I) walked her to the hospital's entrance and left her there. She looked terrified! All this meant I had to spend the whole day with HIM!

As it happened, the surgery was routine rather than emergency and she came home last night. I made sure that I let her know just how much I had missed her. Strangely, she wasn't happy when I tried to jump up to say hello! Eventually, she made it upstairs and into bed - it took SO long - and I lay next to her, just to prove how loyal I am.

Her other half then went out to buy all the things he had forgotten and the Mistress suggested that he took me as well. I think she was worried that he hadn't given me enough exercise! He muttered something about needing some peace and quiet and said it would be quicker and easier if he went alone. How I laughed!

As soon as he closed the front door, I leapt off the Mistress' bed and went downstairs into the kitchen. I always do this when left alone. I go on a food raid. The Mistress - who was going nowhere fast - could hear things clattering but she was powerless to stop me. She then started phoning and texting her other half to come home but he reassured her that he had left absolutely nothing out for me to eat. I think he thought she was being melodramatic!

As it happens, I wanted to demonstrate my love for the Mistress and wish her a speedy recovery. If he could try to win her over with flowers, I needed to do something special. So I did. I emptied the bin all over the kitchen floor to create one of my infamous rubbish collages. Forget Tracy Emin and Damian Hirst; I'm a real artist. I think the Mistress was pleased because she shouted out my name when HE showed her a photo of what I'd done.

Woof Woof

Lost in London? Who do you call?

What would you do if you found a lost dog in London? Who would you call? Where would you go?

The Mistress found herself in this position at the weekend. No, not because I disappeared – I only run off if there’s food involved – but because she and a friend found a dog running free on Bayswater Road.

Those of you who know this particular street, you’ll know what a lucky escape this dog had. It’s one of London’s busiest roads and drivers and cyclists don’t stop for anyone or anything, even at the lights.

The Mistress and friend managed to catch the dog and check his tags. This very handsome chocolate-coloured chap had come all the way from Kentucky, USA. And here he was, jaywalking, in central London!

The Mistress could see that this was a much loved dog. You don’t ship your pet over unless it’s the real deal. He had American tags and his London address but no mobile to call. Even the Mistress, who prides herself on knowing about dogs in London was tested. Several dog owners stopped to help with suggestions about what to do next, including some helpful Americans who tried to call the US with their cell phone! Then we all walked back into the park, to see if we could see anyone looking frantic – to no avail. The Mistress decided to get us home so that she and her friend could start making some calls.

They called the Royal Parks Police (we’d been in Kensington Gardens) but just got an answer machine. They then called the Metropolitan Police who gave them a different number and they got through to the British Transport Police - who act as call handlers for the Royal Parks lot. Eventually, they got through to the nearest police station who said…we can’t do anything! One suggested trying to find a police station with a dog kennel.

And forget the dog warden; Westminster has one for the whole borough, available only on weekdays.

But the Mistress’ friend is an organised kinda gal and has an cab account. She suggested that the Mistress go round to the address on the dog’s tag and even if there was no-one home, she could leave a note with all her details.

So that’s what she did - and the owners weren’t there. Because they were out, in London, sick with worry, trying to find their dog. But a neighbour was home and he offered to look after the dog until the owners returned.

The Mistress worried endlessly about whether she had done the right thing. The dog-owning cab driver reassured her that she had. And then we all waited. The Mistress’ other half had returned by then; why is he never around when there’s a dog crisis?

Several hours later, the dog’s owners called. Boy were they relieved! The Mistress knew exactly how they must have been feeling. And the owners confirmed everything the Mistress suspected – that dog was a much-loved member of the family. In fact, had he not been able to come with them, his American owners would have given the UK a wide berth.

They offered a reward but, quite rightly, the Mistress turned it down. It was enough that dog and owners had been reunited. Losing your best friend is something nobody wants to think about!

So what’s the upshot of this Sunday morning drama? First, do you know what to do if you lose your dog? (If you don’t, then find out!). But second, what do you do if you find a dog? Who do you call? The Mistress is going to find out because even she didn’t know. If the dog hadn’t got a London address on his tag, I’d still be sharing my space with him. Not good! The Mistress now knows, without a shadow of a doubt, that I won’t share her with anyone!

In the meantime, make sure that your dog is chipped (although that wouldn’t have helped this weekend) and that your mobile (cell) phone is engraved on your dog’s tag.

At least this story has a happy ending; a lost American in London found a guardian angel. His owners said so, so it must be true! Of course, I am sure they meant ME, really….

Woof Woof

What would Sir Alan say?

So The Apprentice is back on BBC 2 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/apprentice) with super entrepreneur, Sir Alan Sugar, whipping his new candidates into shape as they vie for the title of Apprentice and land a six-figure salary with his company.

Sir Alan is a fan of enterprising people and entrepreneurial flair. But even he was tested last night; sometimes, securing maximum profit at any cost, is not the way to do business. He made that quite clear!

Which leads me (do you like the pun?!) to the sticky question of the professional multi-hound handler aka dog walkers – an enterprising bunch of people, if ever I saw them. But it’s wrong to generalise, I know! Even the Mistress has had to employ a dog walker when she was struck down with bronchitis and her other half, conveniently, was working 14 hour days! But she made sure I was getting one to one attention!

Today we walked with my friend, Lillie (a rather foxy Shiba Innu) and HER mistress on Hampstead Heath. Yes, it was cold, it was wet but we had a ball! The only other people we saw were…doggy people. And their dogs.

And then something stopped us all in our tracks, even Lillie and me. One dog walker, clearly a multi-hound handler type, had at least 10 but probably more like 13, yes, 13 dogs in his care. Well, care is a misnomer! He had even tied three dogs to a tree. The Mistresses were outraged but felt that they could do nothing.

To be honest, so-called professional dog walkers like him give them all a bad name. They don’t keep the dogs under control (so you get “bad dogs!”), they don’t pick up -because they don’t have several arms to manoeuvre at once - (so you get “dirty dogs!”) and they don’t … really give the dogs a good walk. In my opinion.

Yes, the business model makes sense – 10 dogs for one hour equals at least £100. Cash in hand, no questions asked! Not bad for a morning’s work. But what sort of service is this type of walker offering? Maybe his clients don’t realise. Maybe they do.

One thing’s for sure; if Sir Alan had a say, his words would be clear – “I’ve gotta tell you, you’re fired!” And quite right too.

Woof Woof

Petometer - The Thin End of the Wedge

It was only a matter of time. Just as trends start in the US and then come over here to the UK, so human trends morph into…doggy trends.

The latest example is the Petometer, brought to us by Petplan! According to the publicity, it’s a “device, which measures the number of steps taken each day by a dog”. A bit like your pedometers then.

The first question I have is does one paw on the ground equal one step? According to the Petercise Programme, I should be taking a recommended 20 – 25,000 steps per day. Yes, per day. Of course, those people at Petplan haven’t really given us an indication just how far 20,000 steps is. Maybe the Mistress and I are already meeting my quota for the day….

The second question is this; government health warnings for you humans state that you should take 10,000 steps per day. So, Houston, we have a problem; whose step requirements take precedence? The Mistress will ALWAYS put me first so that’s a no brainer as far as we’re concerned but what about all those other owners? What will they do?

The Mistress met a new owner the other day. With a very cute young dog – just past puppyhood. The owner proudly told the Mistress all about his new pet. “Of course, it took us ages to find X (come on, I’ve got to protect the innocent, here!) because we wanted a dog that only required 15 minutes of exercise a day”. Yes, you read right, 15 minutes per day! What sort of dog needs so little? I’ll tell you what – a retired greyhound and that’s about it!

We all know being portly pooches is a no-no! But you humans can’t help yourselves (never mind, us)! You feed us titbits, leftovers, biscuits (yes, my love of all these is well documented!) and sometimes you don’t really feel like taking us out for a walk.

Anyway, given that Londoners like anything new, I guess I’ll be seeing the Petometers out and about on my canine chums.

I think it’s the thin end of wedge (remember I am already on the pellet diet) but if I am to embrace a healthy lifestyle, it’s best paw forward….

Woof Woof

What Price Love?

Did you know that Bucharest authorities are busy destroying the city’s stray dogs that are found on the street? This is, apparently, in response to thedeath of a Japanese tourist who may or may not have been attacked by a dog. Nothing has been proved. Yet. In the meantime, at least 45 dogs are killed each day (see www.telegraph.co.uk for the gruesome details).

Did you know that Romanian authorities have decided that foreign nationals can no longer adopt children from those infamous orphanages that so concerned the outside world in the early 90s?

Do you feel hopeless or removed when you read these details of foreign tragedies like these? Or do you, like a seemingly growing number of people, decide to put your hand in a very deep pocket and spend thousands of pounds to save a life?

The Mistress would, if her other half let her! Unfortunately, she isn’t always top dog! Anyway, given half a chance, she’d be on plane like a shot.

Today in the Daily Mail, Jenny Frost wrote about how she rescued a stray dog, Lucky, from “starvation and misery” in Cuba. Five years on, “he is the most companionable dog and a much-loved member of our family”. Lucky, indeed, for all concerned.

In the Evening Standard, Liz Jones writes about her plans to adopt a baby girl from India. She’ll either do it with her husband or on her own. Her colleague, Hannah Pool, has said that international adoption or should that really be international rescue, doesn’t work. (Hannah was adopted from
Eritrea.)

In Channel 4’s Baby Race, we saw what lengths women would go to to be a mother. A tear-jerking series, the Mistress watched every episode and cried into my neck. One woman – single and too old to be considered for adoption in the UK – found her new daughter in China. The little girl had been abandoned at the orphanage’s doors, aged just one day. Now she faces a different life and future, clearly with much love, in the UK.

The UK is full of stray dogs (many of whom are still being destroyed by local authorities) in need good homes. The UK is full of children that need to be taken out of temporary care into permanent, loving homes. Yet somehow people are looking abroad to ensure that they are given the chance to offer love to someone or something. And it’s a huge lorry load of love that we’re talking about.

The Mistress has met many dog owners – who are out everyday – come rain or shine, who have also been rejected by rescue organisations. And some of those organisations are very well known!

Love comes in many shapes and sizes – people are out there wanting and waiting to give it – so maybe it’s time for authorities (any organisation in charge!) on this small island of ours to ensure that children aren’t left without families and dogs aren’t needlessly destroyed or left in kennels and rescue
centres because the potential owners don’t meet certain criteria.

Maybe it’s time for a rethink?

Woof Woof

Are dogs surrogate children?

Absolutely! Particularly if the owner(s) don’t have children of their own. Of course, as any true dog lover will tell you, we dogs make great surrogates!

And sometimes, when the owners do have children, it’s the dog that offers the greatest (and most appreciated) form of love – unconditional, every time! No naughty step, naughty corner or time out for us! Oh no!

The newspapers and dining tables of the chattering classes are full of stories about competitive parents, trying to outdo each other with tales of their children’s activities and academic success.

Are dog owners the same? Absolutely.

Many discussions are had in the park about which vet you take your dog to, which behaviourist he or she is seeing, which puppy classes you are attending (you and your canine charges), what you do in the holidays – dog sitter versus kennels versus not going abroad. Or taking the dog with you on vacation to pet passport-friendly locations – particularly France.

Some dog owners even have…au pairs. When I first arrived in the Mistress’ life, she used to walk with a group of dog owners. One owner was talking about the difficulty of finding suitable au pairs, particularly since the overall package (accommodation, free afternoons, minimal duties, etc etc) was so attractive. The Mistress made the mistake of asking how old the children were? What children? The au pair is for the dog! Doh! Silly Mistress!

Oprah Winfrey has enlisted two full-time helpers for her new puppies – a night nanny and a day nanny. Oprah knows that puppies need A LOT of attention and if you’re America’s most successful and richest woman (which Oprah is) as well as having to run your own daytime show, then you can’t do it all on your own. You can’t have it all!!! Something has to give! Oprah has talked about how guilty she feels when she can’t see her canine family.

Charlotte Church has just been given a new puppy, Tina by her beloved boyfriend, Gavin Henson. In her new show, Davina McCall suggested that Tina will pave the way for the patter of tiny (human) feet but Charlotte is in no rush. Tina is going to require all her attention. For now. Question is, will she call in help? After all, when you’re a jet-setting star, you sometimes need back up.

Charlotte has responsibilities now and Tina will no doubt prove to be the perfect surrogate. For now.

Woof Woof

Mr Blair – Victim of Crime

No, not THAT Mr Blair! Mr Lionel Blair, entertainer and all round nice guy.

And victim of crime? Well, sort of. It’s hard to tell where the law stands on the particularly cruel crime of dognapping. Just one man has been charged with dog theft since Victorian times. Of course, if you’re a dog owner, it’s your worst nightmare. And now the Sunday Express is calling for dognapping to be taken more seriously as a crime. Well, woof, woof, to that.

Mr Blair lost his pet dog, Florence, a bearded Collie-cross, while walking out with her in the park. Yes, in the PARK! Is nothing sacred?

Florence, it appears, was snatched because she looks like a pure pedigree that could be worth serious cash to a puppy farmer. Dogs are being stolen across the country because disreputable breeders (well, basically thugs on the make) realise that the UK is a very lucrative market for pedigree pups. Puppy farming is intensive breeding of dogs in appalling conditions.

Florence was 10 years old and had been spayed (ie NOT capable of having any puppies) yet she was still stolen. Of course, to the thief on the make, that kind of information isn’t obvious. At first glance.

The Mistress read out the story this morning and what upset her the most was Lionel Blair’s words about his fear for Florence:

“She is no use at all to puppy farm thieves and I dread to think what they will do to her when they discover that. My biggest fear is that she is hanging from a tree somewhere. I feel like a member of my family has been stolen.”

Surely it’s time to warn all dog owners? If you have a dog, you should no longer take certain things for granted like leaving him or her tied up outside a shop. There is no guarantee that your pet will be there when you return.

The Mistress was in Oxford Street on Saturday and was horrified to see that someone had tied up their Westie to the railings outside Marks and Spencer. The dog was clearly distressed but, equally significant, the dog was incredibly vulnerable. Anyone could have taken him. The Mistress waited and waited to see if the owner came out but they didn’t and her other half had to drag her away in case she started remonstrating upon the owner’s return.

Here are some statistics, courtesy of the Express:

• Doglost.com gets reports of 200 lost dogs a month

• The most popular breeds for dog nappers are Lurchers, Labradors, Spaniels and Jack Russells.

• 1,000 puppies a month are coming to the UK from Irish puppy farms. YES, one thousand!

The tragedy of puppy farming is enormous – too much for one blog. But Woof Woofington is on the case.

The tragedy of dognapping is that it could be stopped or certainly reduced. For now, if you have a dog, don’t let him or her leave your sight. If you do, it could be the last time you see your faithful friend and member of the family.

And how would you feel then?

Woof Woof

Can a dog master chip and pin before you?

What does the weekend usually mean for many people? Shopping.

And what does shopping require as of this week? Yes, your new friends - chip and pin.

The Mistress had already learnt her essential pin numbers before the deadline of February 14 so - should she want to - she can shop to her heart's delight. Of course, I am always hopeful that she will go shopping to buy things for ME! Our local pet shop has embraced chip and pin so thankfully there won't be any excuses not to pop in for some purchases....

Some people, however, will still not have managed - quite yet - the art of chip and pin. Can you remember yours? Do you get your pins confused so you end up with the wrong pin number for the wrong card? Spare a thought for those who cannot afford to be so...carefree. There has been much debate about the problems of chip and pin, particularly for the disabled. It's not people friendly.

Well, it probably isn't dog friendly either and if you think I am mad for suggesting it, remember that assistance dogs (Guide Dogs for the Blind, Hearing Dogs for the Deaf and Canine Partners) may well be stepping into the breach. In fact, this week we heard about Endal, Dog of the Millennium, who assists his owner, Gulf war veteran, Allen Parton.

As the headlines said, Endal has chip and pin licked!

He can key in the numbers on Allen's behalf. Impressive, or what?! Endal also has his own website (http://www.milleniumdog.freeserve.co.uk). I defy you to read Endal and Allen’s story without a tear!

Endal is a Labrador - another ambassador for our breed - and there are many dogs - who could be just as loyal as Endal - even as a regular family pet. All they need is a loving home and some TLC. Just check out Labrador Rescue at http://www.lrsec.org.uk. Endal’s own website is run by a very clever dog, Digger and his owner (http://www.dogpage.ision.co.uk/digfriends2.html). They all deserve a look!

In the meantime, happy shopping this weekend and remember, if a dog can do it, so can you!

Woof Woof

What happens when we go to the big kennel in the sky?

Death is a tricky business, as everyone knows. The loss of a pet can be particularly hard to bear as BBC 2’s Pets Are People demonstrated last month.

The Mistress’ other half watched it in disbelief and said, surely people don’t do all of this for their pet?
But new research shows that the people on the programme weren’t quite so extreme after all. According to the Telegraph, four out of 10 dog owners have staged a ceremony to mark their dog's death, with an estimated 136,000 a year holding funerals. That’s a lot of ceremonies.

Did you know that the Queen has commissioned headstones for her loyal furry friends? There is even a pet cemetery in Hyde Park; it’s closed now but…pets are very significant members of the family.
The Mistress’ other half asked if she (the Mistress) would ever consider having me stuffed? But she said no, quite rightly. The dog at Slough station (stuffed and preserved in perpetuity) put her right off. Even if he was an extremely brave boy who saved lives during the war.

But I think she may well commission some art; she rather likes the statue of Greyfriars Bobby up in Edinburgh. And of course, it comes as no surprise that Londoners were the most extravagant: 36 per cent admitted spending more than £100 on their pet after its death.

Direct Line Pet Insurance, who commissioned the research, are now offering a pet bereavement line. Some may be incredulous but when you lose your best friend, where can you turn? You certainly don’t get compassionate leave for loss of your pet! I can’t think of many employers who would be that understanding.

Whatever people say and however much they may mock at distraught owners, we dogs are still your best friends – even when we’ve gone.

Woof Woof

"It's like having Lance Armstrong for a son"

Yes, this is what Tom Bishop said about his dog, Rufus, a coloured Bull Terrier (think Bill Sykes' dog with..colour) when he won Best in Show!

Apparently, Rufus, whose show name is Ch. Rocky Top's Sundance Kid, is a ''couch potato'' at home.

Rufus romped to the top dog position, beating a Golden Retriever and an Old English Sheepdog. He also outperformed a Rottweiler, a Scottish Deer Hound, a Dalmatian and a Pug in the final round of judging.

I knew there'd be a Chinese dog in there ...somewhere.

Not sure how champion cyclist, Lance Armstrong, who has beaten cancer and raised oodles of cash for his cause will feel about Mr Bishop's comments. But hey, that's dog owners for you!

Way to go Rufus, as our friends across the Atlantic would say!

Woof Woof