You’re Bootiful (apologies to James Blunt)

Now, like any self-respecting dog, I like the odd bit of turkey. So does the Mistress’s other half, as it happens, because it’s a low-fat, lean meat, perfect for those – human and canine – who are watching their weight.

So, be honest now, when you think turkey, you probably think…Bernard Matthews. You probably can hear his Norfolk accent, saying the words “absolutely bootiful”, as it used to in the adverts.

Personally, I’m not sure if Mr Matthews was referring to the turkey or the profits his birds turn in. £35.8 million at the last count (for the year ended 2 January 2006).

And Bernard Matthews (the company) would have you believe that they have turkey production down to a ‘t’.

Well, if you’re making that sort of cash, something usually has to give. And in this case it’s welfare. Apparently, the Matthews empire has been criticised for alleged cruelty before, which the company has refuted. And so it comes to pass that, lo and behold, Bernard Matthews is in the headlines again. For cruelty. In today’s Mirror http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/tm_objectid=16984564%26method=full%26siteid=94762%26headline=exclusive%2d%2dthe%2dbird%2dbatterer%2d-name_page.html, the company denies it but when faced with actual footage – no, the cameras aren’t lying – the turkey empire is struck dumb. And the BBC has run the story too http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/norfolk/4940366.stm. And let’s face it, post-Hutton, they check, double check and triple check their news output. And suddenly the Bernard Matthews PR teams are back-peddling like mad.

Thank goodness they didn’t show the whole footage, available from http://www.hillside.org.uk/ (and definitely not for vegetarians!)

I know none of you would touch a Turkey Twizzler if your life depended on it. And certainly not after Jamie Oliver condemned them on School Dinners (Channel 4). But just in case you get stuck in Sainsbury’s late one night after work, and Bernard Matthews is all that is on offer, stand back and put the packet down. Instead, check out the organic alternatives online:

http://www.woodlandsfarm.co.uk/main_pages/turkeys.htm or there’s a list of organic suppliers at:
http://www.soilassociation.org/

And then you’ll know – with absolute certainty - that what you’re eating really is ‘absolutely bootiful’!

Woof Woof

Comments

[la scrittore]

Mmm- anything that exposes the animal nightmare that Bernard Matthews' s empire is built is wecome in my book. Let's hope it's brought him down a peg or two since last July when HRH The Prince of Wales and the Duchess launched the new Caister (Norfolk) lifeboat. Named - quelle surprise - the Bernard Matthews II. http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/norfolk/4715703.stm

It struck me - and no doubt other people too - that this was a mighty strange combination. His Royal Green-ness - purveyor and promoter of all things organic - launching a lifeboat named after the man who, arguably, has done more to dull the palates of the great British public than anyone else. (Apart from McDonalds maybe...) Not to mention presiding over the slaughter and unhumane treatment of countless millions of birds.

Funny old world.