Woof Woofington

Scenes of a Sexual Nature

I just got a lovely message from my virtual friend, Onion (http://www.oniondog.blogspot.com) today, which reminds me I MUST mention her spectacular performance in the film, Scenes of a Sexual Nature. I am biased but she was fabulous.

If you a) love London and b) love dogs, it's the film for you although it's mainly a people-centric movie, to be honest.

I love Hampstead Heath and to see it on a summer's day was great.

So, it's out now on DVD (check out http://www.tinpanfilms.com/news.htm for full details.

It's a lovely British film to be enjoyed...at leisure.

Congratulations, Onion, you were...manifique!

Woof Woof

"That's sum pet!"

I can't take credit for the great headline, which featured in this week's Sunday Mirror. It made me laugh but not as much as the story....

Apparently, a dog owner in China has trained his pooch to do...maths!

" Clever Wa Wa barks out answers and can add, subtract and even multiply."

Well, of course, a dog can do maths. Just remember the saying...try hiding three biscuits, giving your dog two and see if he knows that one is missing. You know the answer already! A dog will always know that the third biscuit is not where it should be...in him!

Woof Woof

Dog-tastic TV has reached a tipping point

My goodness, if you don't own a dog, you might have been a bit overwhelmed by all the dog TV currently on air.

On Tuesday night, there were three separate dog programmes on terrestrial TV, which must be a first?

Kicking off proceedings was the BBC's new programme, The Underdog Show (http://www.bbc.co.uk/underdogshow/),which had two parts.

I think the intention behind this show is fantastic; it's showcasing rescue dogs from Dogs Trust and pairing them up with celebrities. Here's what the BBC says about it:

"Anton du Beke, Clive Anderson, Huey Morgan, Julia Sawalha, Kirsty Gallacher, Mishal Husain, Selina Scott and Theo Paphitis will set about mastering a series of highly-charged obedience and agility tests, with the added burden of a weekly elimination thrown in to up the ante. Viewers' votes count for 50 per cent of the overall result, revealed in a tense and unpredictable 30 minute live follow-up show later in the evening."

"As the pressure piles on and eliminations loom, which of our celebrities' underdogs will be transformed into the nation's wonder dog?"

The thing is, I'm not sure how I feel about this and I don't want to be churlish! Sometimes rescue dogs get a bad name (but hey, I am rescue so we're not ALL bad!) but this is thoroughly undeserved. And I am guessing that this is exactly what the programme makers wanted to show.

But agility, doggy dancing and obedience - in a ring? I'm just not convinced. Yes, this is a great way to show rescue dogs (history unknown or maybe tragic circumstances) but just imagine, they build up a relationship with the celebrity (if they don't get eliminated) and the trainer and then...get put up for adoption. Hmmm. Isn't that going to confuse them? Or maybe it won't and they'll love being in the show ring.

The good thing is, as far as I can see, is that the majority of celebrities are dog owners and those that weren't, were soon to see just how fabulous dogs can be.

All the dogs are far too gorgeous to single out but Julia Sawalha's chosen canine, a staffie called Cookie, reminded me of one of the Mistress' friend's dogs. She was also a staffie (maybe with something extra!) and had been found wandering on a major road in Birmingham. She was also from the Dogs Trust! She had a fantastic life but was not fan of other dogs so we didn't hit it off. The thing is, I reckon if Cookie comes up for adoption, I think the Mistress's friend may well reconsider (sadly, their staffie went to the big kennel in the sky almost two years ago).

So I wish The Underdog Show every success and I hope it does a lot of good for rescue dogs. Theo Paphitis who was eliminated, with his dog Claudia, surprised everyone by choosing to keep her, so Claudia won't have to be rehomed to someone she doesn't know!

My only beef with this programme is that the money raised (you call a number to vote!) goes to Children in Need. Now I think Children In Need is a great charity but why have a programme about rescue dogs - from a charity that receives no government funding (like most animal charities) - and then give the money to a different cause? Maybe Dogs Trust felt that the publicity was worth it but what about the other rescue charities?

And then, after the update of The Underdog (so doggy programme number two of the evening), came Half the Dog is Mine from One Life.

This was a surreal programme showing the effects on pets as their owners' relationships break down and a custody battle begins.

Half the Dog is Mine focused mainly on two former Big Brother "stars", Alex and Melanie who got together, in spite of appearing in different years. They got a rescue staffie (Staffordshire Bull Terrier) from Battersea and everything went swimmingly until they split up and...they ended up in court. In the end, Alex won (the dog had been living with Melanie) and Melanie Hill was forced to accept joint custody of the dog and pay Alex's court costs (approx' £25K).

It was heartbreaking to see this dog taken from one home to another via a third party. No wonder their custody-battle victim felt confused and a bit low!

Dogs, like children, deseve better and shouldn't be seen as an opportunity to get back at the ex! But I guess when you're angry, you'll use anything to strike back.

So, a full night of doggy TV but I am not sure I felt any more uplifted for watching it.

Woof Woof

Help! My Dog's as Fat as Me

So, did you have a good weekend? Did it include a few cheeky ones at your local followed by a) a curry b) a kebab or c) a pizza?

Or maybe you're one of the Britons who possibly has a drink problem but disguise it by drinking at home - because the booze is that much cheaper (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/6461359.stm).

Well, whatever you've done this weekend, it's more than likely that you ate or drank a little too much. And that's why Britain is becoming ever lardier, year-on-year. This is a FACT!

Now, here's another thing; people tend to think that if you have a dog, you're more likely to be slimmer...because of all the exercise you do - with your pet pooch. WRONG! Having a dog in your life does not mean, necessarily, that you keep those excess pounds at bay. Because if you overindulge, it's likely you slip the dog a few snacks on the sly too.

Up to now, TV programmes have targeted humans for weight loss (Celebrity Fat Club, Look Good Naked, 10 Years Younger, The Diet Doctors, Gillian McKeith...you know them, you've probably watched them. I know the Mistress has!) And then there have been the doggy versions through programmes like It's Me or the Dog - Diet Special.

Well now BBC 3 have cottoned on to the fact that fat dog may well mean fat owner! I know when I was carrying too much weight, the Mistress wasn't exactly size zero!!! Sad but true.

So, tonight at 8.30pm on BBC3 you can watch.... Help! My Dog's as Fat as Me.

I haven't seen it yet but the scary thing is, "after three months, the remaining three pairs (finalists) head off to face some of the toughest dog agility courses at London's Olympia, where they compete for the title of Fat Dog Champion 2007".

Now don't get me wrong, I applaud the double header of pet and owner shifting the pounds but to be crowned Fat Dog Champion 2007 gives out the wrong message, in my opinion.

It just says, we're lardy and we're proud of it. Why do all the diet clubs crown their weight-loss champions "Slimmer of the Year" - it's not Fatty of the Year or Lardarse of the Year, is it?

Here’s how the programme works, according to the BBC’s website:

Every other weekend for three months the dogs and their owners attend the Fat Dogs Fitness Centre. Under the watchful eye of Julian and his miniature dachshund Lulu, dog behaviourist Amy Hatcher and vet Paul Manktelow, the contestants learn activities from the world of dog sports like orienteering, hydrotherapy and the doggie treadmill.

At the end of each visit is the dreaded Weigh Off where the couples find out if they've worked hard enough to hit their targets. Each dog and their owner face the moment of truth as they step up to the scales together to reveal their joint weight.

And just in case you’re in any doubt who the presenters are, Julian Bennett is from Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, so expect some straight talking!!

The two couples that have lost the least weight then go head-to-head in a challenge based on an activity they've learned during their visit. The losing duo is then eliminated from the contest...

Blimey!

Of course, it will come as no surprise to dog lovers that there are a couple of Labradors in the line-up. Yes, we’re a greedy breed – life IS one snacking opportunity so constant vigilance is required but when you read about Violet, the chocolate Labrador, it breaks your heart:

“Retired Angie simply loves her dog Violet too much. Angie admits she's 'killing Violet with kindness', because she can't resist giving treats to her already overweight dog. All four of the Labradors that Angie owned in the past have died from weight-related problems, and she's determined that the same will not happen to Violet.”

Well, we can only hope that Angie gets the message and that Violet doesn’t make it two thirds of another hat trick of dead dogs.

So, if you’re fighting the flab and your dog doesn’t have a defined waistline, this is the show for you. Enjoy!

Woof Woof

A Sad Day

OK, I know what you're thinking, I am down because I didn't win a Bloggie http://2007.bloggies.com/, in the Best Kept Secret category. Well, to be honest I think the Mistress was more gutted than me. I mean, I still get treats; I just don't have to pose for the camera to show me winning - in case I had! And in case you're interested, an American won that particular category - http://www.thepioneerwoman.com. She seems nice enough and was able to go the final ceremony; there is a definite trend in publishing circles - the story goes woman leaves city for rural location, writes a blog and wins lots of prizes (and even publishing deals!), as a result. Chick-lit has been replaced by (countryside) mum lit!

Anyway, it was a sad day for the Mistress. One of our former neighbours has died from ovarian cancer and her funeral was today. The Mistress went back - to visit our all our old neighbours - and to pay her respects to the neighbour's two daughters. Some people say never go back; the Mistress could have gone directly to the funeral service but she had time to spare so decided to meet everyone where we used to live. The Mistress cried when she saw our old flat and all our neighbours. It was an emotional visit all round; it reminded her that it's not where you live but the people you live with or near that really makes the difference.

There's nothing like a funeral to make you aware of your own (and your loved ones') mortality. The priest talked about reflecting on your life and whether or not you are living life to the full and acting with a clear conscience. The Mistress came home and was very subdued so I watched all the doggy TV with her other half. (Tomorrow I shall write all about fat dogs and dogs trying to make the Crufts grade with Victoria Stillwell and the debate about ethical food!).

In the meantime, this seems an ideal opportunity to give you some facts and figures about the silent killer (ovarian cancer) that is affecting far more women than you realise:

From the Eve Appeal (http://www.eveappeal.org.uk)

`'Every year over 7,000 women across the UK are diagnosed with ovarian cancer. 5,000 of them will die. That’s a death rate of over 70% - similar to the survival rate for breast cancer.

"With statistics like these, being diagnosed with ovarian cancer is likely to be devastating. And this news affects not only women themselves, but their family, friends and other loved ones as well.

"But there is real hope for the future.

"The Eve Appeal was set up to save women’s lives by funding groundbreaking research into gynaecological cancers. Our current and most urgent aim is to raise the last £5 million required to complete a world class research programme at University College London which aims is to find techniques that will halve the death rates from ovarian cancer within 10 years. The programme includes the world’s largest ovarian screening trial in the world."

The charity - at the family's request - that everyone will be supporting today is Ovacome (http://www.ovacome.org.uk), which is "a UK-wide support network providing information and support for everyone affected by ovarian cancer". Both charities are doing really important work in this area of women's health and deserve your support.

Woof Woof

Crufts 2007 Winner - and my prediction was 100% accurate

So, Crufts is over for another year.

The 2007 official winner was chosen by judge Zena Thorne-Andrews and he is none other than Willy or, to give him his full name, Araki Fabulous Willy. Oh, I forgot the important bit, this year's Best in Show (ie the Crufts champion) is a Tibetan Terrier AND grandfather to Clare Balding's (co-presenter of the BBC programme) pet dog, Archie.

So the winner was without controversy - his is NOT a tail that may or may not be docked. Although, legislation has now been passed, this issue will run and run and run. And don't expect The Kennel Club to be anti-docking! But that's for another day so let's not spoil the fun.

Reserve Best in Show went to Fox Terrier (Wire) Ch Travella Show Stopper, owned by S. Browne-Cole and W. P Allen.

I am sure both these dogs are indeed fabulous show stoppers - literally - but it would be so nice to see dogs and owners/handlers without a hairbrush in hand at the winner's podium!! I mean, they're dogs!

For the second year running, I have predicted the real winner of Crufts - through The Friends For Life award - organised by the Kennel Club.

Hearing Dog (and rescue dog, yay!), Molly, got the top prize and I am thrilled. I shall write more about Molly tomorrow with all the right links!

So congratulations to all the winners. Of course, the Mistress always tells me, at the end of every Crufts, that if I were to enter, I would win. Paws down! She also says I will always be a Crufts champion of champions to her!

What can I say?

Woof Woof

Just what is "mouth to snout" resuscitation?

I love the Mistress and the Mistress loves me. Fact. But I'm not sure I'd want to snog her - nothing personal! And I don't think she'd fancy giving my chops the once over either. So there isn't any mouth on mouth action but...if she goes on one of the ever-increasingly popular Pet First Aid courses, I fear that could all change!

The Mistress even got a Pet First Aid Kit for Christmas from her mother! Should I be getting worried? Is there something I don't know? Are THEY worried I'm going to get into some extreme sports, canine-style?!

According to today's Sunday Times, "at least 15 pet first-aid courses are run by veterinary colleges and animal charities around Britain and they are proving increasingly popular with owners."

“People are more aware about how to treat each other and, as dogs increasingly become part of family, they also want to learn more about caring for their pets,” said Leslie Heaton-Smith, director of the College of Animal Welfare, which runs the monthly courses. Sessions cost £140, last one day and are taught by a vet in Leeds, Edinburgh, Huntingdon in Cambridgeshire and Potters Bar in Hertfordshire. Heaton-Smith added that the college would launch a first-aid DVD at Crufts today.

"Owners attending the courses are told to leave their pets at home. Instead, they practise medical techniques on two dummies imported from America: Fluffy the cat and Jerry the dog."

So that's ok then!!

Apparently, vets are giving a cautious thumbs up to these courses but warn that some owners may do more harm than good, which figures.

Of course, I jest about the Mistress and me but first aid - pet or human - is no laughing matter and I reckon it's something everyone should do. I think St John's Ambulance runs courses, if you're interested.

The thing is, you never know when you might need those skills, so isn't it better to be prepared?

For the moment, though, I am hoping the 'mouth to snout' resuscitation techniques stay firmly with Jerry the dog!

Woof Woof

OK, I snore. Do you?

According to yesterday's Times, there is a homeopathic remedy for dogs who snore! So paws up, that includes me.

But the Times is quite cruel defining 'the pet snore' as," that embarrassing phlegmy rumble that your poor pup is not even aware of, let alone able to control" I don't think my snoring is THAT bad!

"Snorestop for Pets is a homoeopathic solution to the involuntary din caused by allergies, weight gain and ageing." OK, so we all know why I snore... it's the joy of ageing!

Of course, while I may need it for my light snoring, the question is, will the Mistress be giving the human equivalent to the one person in the house who really needs it?! Because, let's face it, her other half can bring the house down with his nocturnal noises!

Woof Woof

Shh...What IS "The Secret"?

The Mistress is a great fan of Oprah Winfrey because.... because she's a self-made woman, loves dogs and has come clean about the skeletons in her cupboard and is doing her best to change US law to ensure other children don't go through what she went through. Oprah is the living embodiment of triumph over adversity.

I like Oprah because she battles with her weight - in spite of the billions in her bank - so she understands where I am coming from!

Of course, Oprah has her cynics! It didn't help that she got into a fight about James Frey's book, A Million Little Pieces.

And now, it seems, she's in hot water again because she's recommended The Secret by Rhonda Byrne - a book, DVD and website (www.thesecret.tv) - that's all about...the laws of attraction. It's topped the New York Bestseller List and ... can't be bought for love OR money!! Ha ha

The Secret’s basic premise is - with some quantum physics thrown in (string theory!) - that what you think about comes about and if you want good things in your life, you must think about them and magnetise them to you. Seems ok to me. I like the bit where it says having a pet in your life is fantastic because they bring pure joy into your life. Of course, we do!!!

Anyway, I am going to do a bit of manifesting myself (magnetising stuff to me) - I'm going to start with tasty snacks on tap (Mistress, are you listening)? A weekly massage (dogs LOVE massage), a regular pampering session at a doggy spa and ...well, I would manifest that it was just back to being just the Mistress and me but I don't think she would like that!

So, with my positive thoughts, I am magnetising a big fat juicy steak. I'll let you know how I get on.

Woof Woof

An (un)welcome house guest

One of the Mistress's friends runs a pet sitting agency and, today, she needed the Mistress's help at very short notice. Could we look after a canine guest for the day? The Mistress said fine, if I got on well with him. Cool.

He arrived at lunchtime and wasn't too bad at all. A little excitable - to say the least - and he did not sit down once. In the end, the Mistress took us on the longest walk ever. Unfortunately, this very cute chap is named after the King - the King of Rock and Roll - and the Mistress felt very foolish calling his name!

The only problem with this arrangement is that the Mistress has told her friend that she'd be happy to have any other dogs, anytime. Now I don't mind the odd one but I hope she isn't going to make this a
permanent arrangement!

Maybe next time I won't be so welcoming to these unexpected guests...

Woof Woof