Woof Woofington

Ruff Diamond

Now, I STILL don't approve of Harrods pet department because they sell puppies direct from the shop. That is still a big NO-NO in my book. But let's not go there...

According to tonight's Evening Standard, Harrods is selling something I would be VERY interested in receiving in MY Christmas stocking. Jewellery designer, Stephen Webster, (he who made Madonna's wedding ring) has created a one-off (collar) with "six two carat diamonds with a 2.23 carat centre stone set into a leather collar, an 18 carat gold bone hanging from the centre and "Ruff Diamond" spelled out in 18 carat gold."

Not bad, not bad at all. This absolutely fabulous collar is a snip at £500,000.00. Yep, half a million pounds. Sadly, I think the lucky dog will either belong to a WAG or be shipped over for Britney's, Mischa Barton's, Nicole Richie's or Paris Hilton's latest pet pooch.

But I can dream...

Woof Woof

Richard Branson and Virgin Money Save My Crib aka Northern Rock

The Mistress and her other half have got their mortgage with Northern Rock. They've also got shares in the bank that got itself into a pickle with American mortgage lending. Dear oh dear! That means my crib was under threat...well, that's what I reckon.

As the Mistress and her other half are also British Tax Payers, they've paid twice over for the mortgage. Oh no!!!

Anyway, a knight in shining armour (Sir Richard Branson, no less) could be Northern Rock's saviour with head of Virgin Money, Jayne-Anne Gadhia.

They seem to be Northern Rock's saviour-of-choice and they get our new Chancellor, Alastair Darling, out of a tight hole.

So, watch this space. My kennel may be saved after all.

Woof Woof

"I wonder where it all went wrong..." Steve McClaren or Gordon Brown?

Well, in case you were in any doubt, those were the words of Steve McClaren - England's Manager, just after Croatia sent us OUT, yes, OUT of Euro 2008. We have not qualified.

Apparently, according to the Mistress's other half, failure to get through will have cost the British economy a cool billion pounds in lost revenue.

And the other top news is millions of Britons' personal details have been pinched in the mother of all data security breaches. Who is to blame? The junior clerk who will be the fall guy? The Head of HM Revenue and Customs, who has resigned? The civil servants concerned? The Chancellor? The Prime Minister?

People are calling for resignations but so far, no Minister has put up their hand.

Tonight, after the shockingly poor performance by England, there are calls for McClaren to resign but Steve has made it clear that his position is not for discussion. On the BBC, they speculated that he will be pushed rather than jump. Well, what about the Head of the FA (Football Association)? Surely they have some culpability too?

Tomorrow, could be Resignation Thursday.

In the meantime, I can answer Steve McClaren's question. By failing to choose Paul Robinson, a dog owner, after all, he put too much pressure on Scott Carson's shoulders.

Tony Blair used to be called Teflon Tony but I reckon the new Prime Minister, Chancellor and England Manager are all pretty resilent and like the proverbial rubber ball, they keep bouncing back. But maybe today was a test too far. For all of them. Next?!

Woof Woof

Fancy Dress for Dogs

Do you know that there is an email doing the rounds called, "Why Dogs Bite Humans" and it's full of images like this - see above for dog in fancy costume. (Of course, I would NEVER condone such behaviour!)

According to yesterday's Sunday Times http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/uk/article2890989.ece, doggy fancy dress costumes are all the rage. Yes, because the owners need to express some inner desire to dress up and they have imposed this on their poor pooches. I had to stop going on MySpace because it was full of dogs wearing clothes!

"Favourites include Star Wars, Superman and witch costumes.

Angels Fancy Dress, a shop on Shaftesbury Avenue, London, that started selling to humans in 1840, has seen a 300% leap in demand this year. There was a boom around Hallowe’en as owners bought ghoul, witch and devil costumes and further growth is expected over Christmas. Owners who might previously have tried to throw together a homemade costume for their dog on occasion are now willing to pay for a ready-to-wear outfit.

Emma Angel, who runs the shop, said: “So many people dress their dogs up - they are becoming very much an accessory these days.”

I have no desire to dress up to be Superdog, Bat Dog or a canine Wonderwoman so, what does this say about me? And more important, what does this say about the Mistress?

Woof Woof

A Plastic Bag-Free World?

For someone who has never expressed a view on dogs and, therefore, of NO real interest to ME, Gordon Brown is taking up A LOT of my time right now.

Today, Mr Brown has announced that he would like to see a ban on plastic bags. Well, that's my understanding. Apparently, according to the BBC online http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/7101075.stm, this is what's happening:

Mr Brown also said the government would convene a forum of supermarkets, the British Retail Consortium and others to look at how to reduce plastic bags to cut landfill waste.

"I am convinced that we can eliminate single-use disposable bags altogether, in favour of long-lasting and more sustainable alternatives," he said.

And this climate action plan comes hot on the heels of a big piece in yesterday's Mail on Sunday http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/news/news.html?in_article_id=494758&in_page_id=1770, written by Rebecca Hosking who has, with the help of her home town, created the first plastic big-free town in Europe. Check out
www.plasticbagfree.com to see what amazing things they have done together.

And now, in my own city of London, 33 boroughs have pledged to support a Government bill that proposes a ban on free bags.

The thing is, as any responsible dog owner will testify, plastic bags CAN be useful; if you live in any urban environment, you should ALWAYS clear up after your dog. But but but there is no need to pollute our world in this way so that animals and sea life, across the other side of the planet, choke to death on stray plastic bags. Not only that, these creatures are at the bottom of the food chain and remember, if it's bad news for them, it's going to be bad news for YOU!

So, given that nothing in life is free, it seems that those plastic bags - handed out with all your shopping - have cost us all a great deal more.

Woof Woof

Christmas Cards Gordon Brown Style

Gordon Bennett, people are already talking about Christmas cards! Actually, I meant to say talking about Gordon Brown's choice of Christmas card this year. And let's face it, it probably was NOT our new Prime Minister who chose it but his media-savvy wife, Sarah Brown.

The Browns are very sensibly, in my opinion, moving away from the "it's all about me/us" approach to festive greetings (Mr and Mrs Blair take note!). Let's face it, everyone HATES a round robin and smug family shot just gets up everyone's nose. Cute as I am, the Mistress has never sent a photo of me as a yuletide greeting; it's just not cricket, is it?!

Anyway, even though Gordon Brown is not flavour of the month in our house - (well, the Mistress's other half has no time for him), I think he's created a double whammy in getting HIS Christmas card spot on this year. First, he's chosen much-loved Children's artist and writer, Shirley Hughes to design the image. Second, all proceeds will go to Booktrust (www.booktrust.org.uk), a charity that "encourages people of all ages and backgrounds to discover and enjoy reading". (The Mistress LOVES Shirley Hughes; when she was a child, she met the artist and we now have a picture of My Naughty Little Sister and Bad Harry tucking into trifle - like me, the Mistress has been obsessed with food!) And third, so that's three reasons, he's included a dog and a cat! OK, so the cat is a bit of a mistake but by including both those clever Browns have ensured that they 'speak' to all those dog and cat owners in the UK.

What a brilliant strategy. And at a time when Gordon Brown is at an all-time low in the polls, I reckon his Christmas card choice will send his ratings sky high.

Woof Woof

"He's Just Not That Into You"

One of the Mistress's friends is having a tough time in love. I won't name and shame because that would be beneath a classy girl like me!

When women have problems with their love life, they call in their girlfriends. When guys have problems, they keep schtum. And if they're the Mistress, they decide they want to change their life and get a dog when they thought they wanted a man! Ha ha. I was in the Mistress's life WAY before her other half and he knows it! Anyway, I digress.

The problem with modern relationships is that everyone has a view; do this, do that, say this, don't say that. The book, "He's Just Not That Into You" was aimed at women to stop them wasting time on men who were wasting their time (and energy) BY NOT CALLING. But let's face it, we all want what we can't have - dogs and humans!

If you check out USA Today, you can find an article all about the book:

http://www.usatoday.com/life/books/excerpts/2004-09-08-hes-just_x.htm.

Here's a bit that made me laugh...

IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE GREG

We did an incredibly unscientific poll where we polled twenty of our male friends (ranging from ages twenty-six to forty-five), who are in serious long-term relationships. Not one of their relationships started with the woman asking them out first. One guy even said that if she had, "It would have spoiled all the fun."

What You Should Have Learned in This Chapter

• An excuse is a polite rejection. Men are not afraid of "ruining the friendship."

• Don't get tricked into asking him out. If he likes you, he'll do the asking.

• If you can find him, then he can find you. If he wants to find you, he will.

• Just because you like to lead doesn't mean he wants to dance. Some traditions are born of nature and last through time for a reason.

• "Hey, let's meet at so-and-so's party/any bar/friend's house" is not a date. Even if you live in New York.

• Men don't forget how much they like you. So put down the phone.

• You are good enough to be asked out.

And the reason it made me smile is that the Mistress had to do a bit of the running herself!!! Her other half never uttered the words "Will you go out with me?" even though he used to phone her EVERY day!! So, either he's not that into HER (not like me!) or sometimes there are exceptions to the rule.

And as for her friend, well, we're hoping she'll move in with us (if it doesn't work out but hopefully the man in question will realise a gem when he sees it) and then she can borrow me and I will find her a VERY eligible man! After all, having a dog is a total babe/hunk magnet! Ask any dog owner...

Woof Woof

Liz, The Woman in Hugh's Life?

Photo: Small Time Crooks, Woody Allen, Tracey Ullman and Hugh Grant

So, Hugh Grant has sold his Andy Warhol portrait of Liz Taylor (no, NOT Liz Hurley, in case you thought I got my Lizzies confused!) for a whopping $23.7m (£11.4m) at a New York auction.

There are some discrepancies in the amounts reported that Mr Grant paid for the painting in the first place but he's easily made millions so he has proved himself to be a shrewd investor.

Woody Allen fans will remember Hugh Grant's performance in the film, Small Time Crooks with Tracey Ullman, where he introduces Ms Ullman's character, Frenchy, to the wonderful world of art and all things high society (well, New York society). It's a fabulous film.

In the meantime, the tabloids are full of pictures and stories about the OTHER Liz in Hugh's life, Liz Hurley. That cheeky pair played cat and mouse with the paparazzi as they flew over to NYC for a dinner party. Yes, that's right, a dinner party. Now that sounds my kind of life!

Yes, when all is said and done, Mr Grant has done rather well off the back of the two women, named Liz, in his life. Both know how to make a big impact when it counts!

So, a case, methinks, of real life imitating art!

Woof Woof

Prison Reform - Jonathan Aitken? Or How About "Dogs Not Drugs"?!

Photo: Puppies Behind Bars (www.puppiesbehindbars.com)

Quite frankly, I don't get what all the fuss is about.

Commentators and Labour politiicans are up in arms about the role that former Cabinet Minister and purgeror (he who commits purgery) Jonathan Aitken has signed up for - to chair a review of prison policy for the Centre for Social Justice.

Now, in case you are in any doubt, this relatively new think-tank is the brainchild of Iain Duncan Smith, another Tory who seems to have achieved more out of office than he did as leader of the Party.

Anyway, I digress.

The one thing you can be sure of in all of this is that Mr Aitken will have a better understanding of the realities of prison than most politiicans and err, for that matter, most of the population. After all, how many of you have been a) in a prison to visit or b) been detained at her Majesty's leisure?

No doubt Mr Aitken has got some top ideas about prison reform but I'd like to add mine. I reckon what prisoners really need are...dogs. That's right. My slogan, "Dogs Not Drugs" could be a winner, don't you think?

We already know that dogs help patients in hospital get better. Yes, that's right. They do. Fact. And don't start emailing me about hospital hygiene! Visiting dogs are well behaved and very clean!

We also know that troubled souls get 'something' from interacting with animals; the success of programmes like equine therapy leap-etc.co.uk/2.html.

If you do a google search for prison training and dogs you get a host of programmes being run, worldwide, that help rehabilitate prisoners AND dogs. Some dogs get trained to be assistance dogs; now, if that isn't a worthwhile use of everyone's time, I don't know what is! Check out http://www.puppiesbehindbars.com as an example.

So, Mr Aitken, if you happen to read this, remember "Dogs Not Drugs" will go a long way towards reforming our prisons.

You know it makes sense.

Woof Woof

Tony Blair To Become A Roman Catholic

So, all roads lead to Rome and it seems that former Prime Minister, Tony Blair, has decided that the Roman Catholic path is the one for him.

No one should be surprised. His wife and four children are all Catholics - and practising ones at that. Tony was the odd one out.

Hmmmm. Alastair Campbell, the man who REALLY ran Britain, once said, "We don't do God" and, possibly, as a result, Tony was not out and proud with his Catholic credentials.

But now, since he is no longer in a place where he can be put on the spot about the role that God plays in his life, Tony is finally converting. Allegedly!

The Mistress is frustrated; as a Catholic, she can't see how such a war-mad politician can get away with it (and be accepted) but hey, anything goes, it seems, with today's Church.

According to The Daily Telegraph of three years ago //www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2004/10/15/ncath15.xml, a Catholic CAN be Prime Minister (just in case you thought, like Royalty, that it wasn't allowed):

"Although Britain has never had a Catholic prime minister, there is no constitutional bar to Mr Blair converting while in Downing Street. However, constitutional historians have said that such a development could prove awkward and could affect the relationship between Church and State. As Prime Minister, Mr Blair makes recommendations to the Queen on the appointment of Church of England bishops. Church spokesmen insisted, however, that this was a State rather than religious duty, and the Prime Minister's religious affiliations need not be a difficulty."

In the same article, we get glimpse of Blair's thinking:

"Fr Russ, the parish priest of the Immaculate Heart of Mary in nearby Missenden, Berks, told a newspaper that Mr Blair had raised the issue of conversion over lunch.

"When he asked me, it was in the abstract," the priest said. "It wasn't, 'Can I become a Catholic?' but, 'Can the Prime Minister of Britain be a Catholic?' He said Mr Blair would be "freer to consider the matter" after he had left office. "But even if he resigns or whatever, I doubt he has the 'necessary' to join the Catholic Church.

"It is always a work of grace," said Fr Russ.

"He would probably have a lot going for him, but he also has to change a lot."

Hmmmm. A leopard can't change his spots and I doubt Blair has changed that much.

Personally, I judge the measure of a man by his dog. Blair is dog-less. That, to my mind, says it all. Even the Pope had a pet (cat).

Woof Woof