Woof Woofington

Fancy a night out at the dogs?

If you're a bloke on a stag do, you'd probably say yes. But I won't be sexist and assume it's a guy thing. Maybe it's the ideal venue for a work do? What can be better than a night out watching some greyhound racing and tucking into some food and sinking some pints at the same time? Hey, you might even come out with some extra cash in your pocket.

Well, it's pretty close to heaven you might say. Until you find out about the facts behind greyhound racing. Because while some people will argue that the dogs are well treated and, unlike horses, do not have jockeys whipping them along the course...it's what happens after their racing career is over.

Everyone loves a dog that wins. A winning dog brings cash and prestige. But what about afterwards? If you thought owners then took their canine goldmines home to retire, think again. Greyhounds, in their thousands, are dumped, destroyed or taken to rescue if they are lucky. No one wants a dog that can't earn its keep seems to be some owners' attitude. Not everyone in the industry is bad but they do seem to have closed their eyes to the sport's uglier side.

But don't take my word for it.

Thanks to the people at The Sunday Times, they have exposed one guy who really is the tip of the iceberg. Check out the so-called "canine killing fields" story http://www.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,2087-2272307,00.html to see how one man will get rid of a racing dog that isn't wanted anymore. In fact, they estimate he's probably destroyed 10,000 in the past few years.

Sadly, there are no pictures online but in the newspaper version you see two "sprightly and alert dogs" being led into the shed and then you see him bring them out "lifeless" in a wheelbarrow only to be "tipped into a hole and buried with a digger".

This piece of investigative journalism has shaken up the industry and about time too.

I can't say whether I am for or against racing - I am just glad I am a Labrador rather than a racing greyhound. One of the Mistress's close friends, definitely an animal lover, is happy to go racing. He even took the Mistress's other half along. She, of course, was outraged and finds nothing commendable about this sport. The Mistress's other half didn't even dare to suggest greyhound racing for his stag night...

In the meantime, if you are thinking about getting a new dog, think about taking on a greyhound; they are the most chilled dogs out there and they don't require much exercise. Have a look at these websites for more information: www.dogstrust.org.uk and http://www.retiredgreyhounds.co.uk/ . In fact, they are, ironically, most perfect for the couch potatoes who probably watch greyhound racing on TV!

It's time the greyhound industry cleaned up its act! I hope all this publicity forces the big cheeses in greyhound racing to do something and reward their prized animals long after the cash has stopped pouring into their pockets...

Woof Woof

Golf: the good news...and the bad

Do you play golf? Our house is a golf-free zone; the Mistress doesn't play nor does she understand any of the rules. And her other half doesn't play but at least he knows what happens in a round of golf. One of his friends plays golf – he seems to fit the bill – you know, nice house in the home counties, he's a successful businessman with a wife at home with the kids.

Of course, if golf is your thing, you will be saddened to know that Tiger Woods is taking a break to be with his father. Now that's what I call a man with his priorities right. And he has a dog, which always goes down well in my book.

As for me and golf, I just know it's somewhere - a golf course, that is - where dogs are not welcome.

And, what's more, aren't golf clubs notorious for their petty rules and crimes against knitwear? But this could be about to change...

News reaches me that a golf club in South Wales has granted honorary life membership to Deuce, a dog with an uncertain heritage (ie crossbreed!), because he is a demon on the golf course. Whenever the players lose their balls - golf balls, obviously - Deuce usually manages to find them. In short, he saves those players a lot of cash.

Yes, Deuce is everyone's favourite member now. BUT can he go in the clubhouse? Apparently not. To my mind that defeats the object; it's like saying, you're welcome to be a member but you can't come in. Surely, after a day's hard work, Deuce deserves to chill out with the boys and be given a treat or two?

So, however hard he has worked, sounds like Deuce is still in the doghouse.

Woof Woof

Sven scores an own goal? Never!

So Sven-Goran Eriksson, the enigmatic yet evidently robust Swedish coach to the England football team is off after the World Cup. Regardless of the result, even if Beckham ends up doing a lap of honour with the trophy, Sven will be sitting on the sidelines no more..

When the first Sven ‘fakesheikhgate’ story broke with the tabloids last weekend, the view generally was that Sven had scored the mother of all own goals.

But Sven is far too clever for that. It transpires he had his departure in mind many months ago AND now he gets many million of pounds (not disclosed, of course) whether Eng-er-land gets chucked out at the first round or makes it all the way to the final. Go Sven! What a result.

The Mistress can be heard muttering about there being very few jobs where you get paid oodles of cash regardless of whether you get the job done. It’s like performance-related pay but..with no performance necessary. You can even blow the whistle on your colleagues while you’re at it.

Sounds like a winner!

We now have 135 days until the World Cup (but less than a week until Year of the Dog!).

Whatever happens, it’s well known that the “England job” is a poisoned chalice! Sven may well be a lame duck but maybe he really will deliver the mother of all results before heading off into the sunset, sticking two very large fingers up at the British press who have been waiting to sabotage our favourite Swede.

And, whatever happens between now and then, one thing is guaranteed; the Mistress and I will be there, glued to the TV, proudly wearing our England strip!

Woof Woof

Walk the Walk - the Moonwalk Way

So, the Mistress believes – thanks to her credit card statement – that she and her three friends have secured places on this year’s Moonwalk (in aid of breast cancer) aka a walk in the dark, around the capital, in your bra with loads of other women en route. Oh yes, and it’s for a half marathon or.. a whole one. And, which one has the Mistress has opted for? Yes, the equivalent of walking from here in West London to Slough! In one go!

Actually, I think they are letting men do it this year too but more of that when it’s all confirmed. Needless to say, the Mistress’ other half has not volunteered himself…..

So, her training starts in earnest and guess who will be expected to trot along as she ups the mileage, trekking across London, in the weeks to come. Yes, yours truly. But, guess who is NOT invited to the gig itself? Yes, right again, ME! So I get to do all the hard work but get none of the glory.

That can’t be right, can it? I wonder how many other canine chums help their masters and mistresses out to train for sporting glory, only to be sidelined once the big day come along?

The only consolation is that with all the walking we have scheduled, she’s going to have to up my calorie intake. I know what it takes to be a peak performer!!! Oh yes.

So, paws crossed, even though I don’t get to be dressed up in some pink frilly number in May (no bad thing, to be honest), there is a chance that my faithful friends – Bonios, Shapes, Markies, - in fact, dog biscuits/snacks of any make and size – will be coming back into my life. Hooray! A dog in training cannot live by pellets alone!!!!

Yesterday, The Times ran a piece about New Yorkers taking their dogs with them to do exercise like yoga. Actually, it’s already happening over here in Battersea Park – doga, yes yoga for dogs! I’m not sure who would find it more stressful – me or the Mistress, since neither of us is capable of chilling out (unless we’ve been exercising to exhaustion) when there are so many other things to do, like…eat!

For now, we can only dream of packing in the serious carbohydrates but, given a few weeks, I think pasta could be back in our lives. Phew!

Good luck everyone who is embarking a new sporting activity this year! Believe you will do it and ..you will do it.

Woof Woof