Woof Woofington: Who Wants To Be A Royal Dog? Not if Prince Edward (son of the Queen, no less) is nearby. Yes, he's been snapped beating his Labradors

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I was going to write a post called, "A Tail of Two Labradors" about two puppies who found themsevels hitting the headlines over Christmas.

The first was a 10-week old black Labrador puppy who was dumped at the Dogs Trust in West Lothian,Scotland on Christmas Day - yes, Christmas Day - because his owners couldn't cope.

And then there was Gary Lineker photographed with his new squeeze, their respective children and a very cute yellow Labrador. There was much speculation that the puppy was a gift for Christmas. For Christmas! Didn't Gary know about the message, "A Dog is for Life, Not Just for Christmas"?

But do you know what? Even though these pups had very different starts in life, I think they'll both end up hitting the jackpot. Yes, I do. I reckon the Dogs Trust will have been inundated with calls from potential adopters for the puppy. And Gary's got enough cash to ensure his puppy is given the life of luxury. His sons go to Eton, after all. Not bad for a Leicester Lad!

Which brings me to the hapless hounds of the Royal household. And let's not forget the Queen is Patron of several animal charities, including Dogs Trust.

The UK's Sunday papers are running photos of the Queen's youngest son, Prince Edward, allegedly out on a shoot. You know the score: you take a gun, the dog chases the birds to flush them out (ie send them flapping out), bang!, you blast the birds out of the sky and then the dogs bring the dead birds back to you. That's the theory. But several black Labs decided to do something different, causing the royal prince to beat them with a stick. A big stick.

Nice.

Of course, Buckingham Palace has stated that the dogs were unharmed. Yeah, right. 'Cos being beaten with a stick DOESN'T hurt.

Personally, I just think Prince Edward was getting his own back on his parents (the dogs are more likely to belong to them) for sending him to the Marines. So he hit them where it hurt. But that's just my opinion.

Remember when all little girls wanted to marry a prince? Not any more! Believe me, a dog beater is TOTALLY unattractive. Such behaviour is beneath contempt. Prince Charming? In your dreams.

Woof Woof