Woof Woofington

Would you eat dog stew? Cooking in the Danger Zone BBC 2

Sorry, sorry, sorry that I haven't updated my blog. What can I say? The Mistress abandoned me in the countryside - which is SO boring - and, well, to be honest I just haven't been up to it!

Anyway, nothing like a bit of controversy to get me going again so prompted by a programme tonight on BBC 2, I thought I'd get blogging.

At 7pm you can watch Cooking in the Danger Zone (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/programmes/cooking_in_the_danger_zone/6473973.stm). You can even watch a trailer to whet your appetite! Basically, from what I can see, this is shock TV with a food theme...

"food writer Stefan Gates explores some of the most controversial food issues and dangerous places in the world. This week he visits the Arctic Circle where he goes seal hunting with the Inuit. He then travels to South Korea to find out if there is anything wrong with eating dog."

I love the warning...Some people may find these scenes disturbing. Yes, I think so and some dogs will too if they're curled up with their owners on the sofa.

Apparently, Stefan visits a farm where over 2,000 dogs are raised for their meat and he gets the lowdown from "Dr Dogmeat" - recipes, allegations of torture and...well, I can imagine the rest. The website offers a little teaser:

But when it comes to the crunch, will he tuck in?

My money's on yes he will, of course he will, but what about afterwards? Can he look man's best friend in the eye and say...tasty?!

Woof Woof

Avian Flu Has Landed. And It's Not Bootiful.

So, everyone's winter nightmare has happened - avian flu has landed in the UK and, according to The Daily Telegraph online, "The Government is preparing "very seriously" for the possibility of a human flu pandemic as officials battle to contain the first avian flu outbreak in the UK."

Government vets (yes, ones paid for by you!) continue to slaughter 159,000 turkeys by gassing them.

I'm sorry to say this but, given past examples of dubious welfare standards at Bernard Matthews’s establishments, home of the Turkey Twizzler, I think it may be a relief for the turkeys.

I wonder why avian flu has started at this particular farm? It's not as if the birds are free-range, after all. You've seen the news footage; it looks more like a manufacturing plant, to be honest. But then I guess that's what it is; forget your idyll of birds wandering free. This is poultry management on an intense scale.

The sad thing is that the flu pandemic will strike at the weak and vulnerable; I don't think the poultry farmers who make serious cash will really have to worry about their own health or the state of their business. (I am not talking about small-scale farmers who put animal welfare at the top of their agenda). Oh, and just in case you are wondering how the farmers will be reimbursed for their losses, don't worry. It won't be their insurance companies; it will be Defra. So, actually, it will be your money paying for the turkeys' demise.

I just hope the powers that be can contain this virus and that others won't end up paying with their lives for someone else's financial avarice.

Woof Woof

It's Finger Lickin' Good

So, it's Christmas Day again here in England. Last year I talked about the turducken that we wouldn't be eating, even though it was promoted as THE dish of the day.

This year, everyone is, apparently, basting their roast potatoes in goose fat because that's what Nigella recommends. Again, that will be a no-no in our house - the Mistress prefers Nigel Slater's version of roasties. Nigella also recommended foil trays to save on washing up but the Mistress said it was an unnecessary expense. Sadly, her other half has now made it clear that without a dishwasher, Nigella's suggestion would have been exactly on the money!

But while those two battle it out, I am thinking about our furry friends in Asia. According to China Daily, "dogs, bats, Kentucky Fried Chicken and barramundi" are the foods of choice! Nice. And if you check out the following link http://www.chinadaily.com.cn/world/2006-12/25/content_766945.htm, you can see a lovely photo of some Vietnamese women selling roast dog from a street stall. And sadly, it's very obvious how those poor dogs have been roasted....

If you are in Japan for Christmas, you may well be heading for KFC! Can you believe it? Good old Colonel Sanders has done it again. But you'll only be getting your chicken bucket if you have booked in advance. The so-called Kentucky Christmas habit started more than 30 years ago when a foreign customer couldn't locate a turkey for his Christmas meal so headed on down to KFC instead. This inspired an ad' campaign for the all-American Christmas meal, which proved so popular it still continues today. And KFC will even throw in a bottle of wine.

How festive!

If I get a sniff of a wishbone this year, I shall hope that people would lay off the dog, particularly at Christmas but hey....that's a long way away.

Wishing you all a very Happy Christmas, wherever you are!

Woof Woof

Gordon Ramsay's F Word Says Eat British Veal (or the Calf Gets It - Exported Live, that is)

Well, actually, it wasn't Gordon saying eat British veal but Janet Street Porter. Mr Ramsay just supported her and gave her lots of air time!

Now for you humans, veal is a touchy subject. It's the dish that dare not speak its name. As far as I am aware, I've never eaten veal - well, let's put it like this, the Mistress hasn't ever fed me veal. I think I can safely say we are a veal-free zone.

The Mistress used to be a very strict vegetarian but even she was applauding the latest edition of the f word because it pulled no punches. Check out the website and you’ll see what I mean:

http://www.channel4.com/life/microsites/F/fword/gallery_20_janet_gallery.html

There was lots of footage of calves being exported (VERY distressing) because..we Brits are not eating the by-products of the dairy industry namely veal. And now live exports have just started all over again! Even if you love a veal escalope, do check out Compassion in World Farming's site (linked from the f word's site) www.ciwf.org and see how you can eat with a conscience. No, CIWF is not a veggie-ranting campaigning organisation so don't worry about that! It presents a very balanced argument about how farm animals should be treated – something that chefs, foodies and animal lovers all agree on, amazingly enough!

And let's face it, the vegetarian-hating Mr Ramsay has a point about vegetarians; in a way it is hypocritical of them to tuck into a tasty ploughman’s or a caffe latte but slam the consumption of veal. It's a fact, no dairy, no veal!

The Mistress faced this moral dilemma with her other half; on their very first date they went to Pollo (it was a cheap but cheerful Italian in Old Compton Street) - so you can guess it was some time ago. She ordered something vegetarian and he went straight for..yes, you guessed it, veal! The Mistress was very much in love (ha!) and so decided to say nothing. However, that live and let live feeling has somewhat dissipated. Last night, she made him watch the end of Trinny and Susannah (Gordon Ramsay’s pigs that got slaughtered) so that he could be “informed”! I think he was massively affected by it but will still be tucking into some prosciutto crudo next time he passes an Italian deli....

So, Gordon Ramsay gets the thumbs up in our house; not least because he is showing the nation what’s really involved in the food we all eat – human and canine (in my case!). And his message is very clear; you can eat British veal with your conscience intact! At least you won’t be supporting the live export of baby cows, in hideous conditions, to an even worse fate across the the Continent.

Woof Woof

Chicago - the new place for dining out

Say Chicago and you might just think of the film and musical or, if you read all the celebrity magazines, you'll know it's where Jen and Vince (that's Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn) now hang out together. And it's also home to Oprah Winfrey.

So, a great mix of people and they all happen to like dogs! What’s more, according to Tuesday's Times, Chicago is about to allow dogs to dine with their masters (and mistresses), a shift, it says "where such fraternisation is generally banned".

But while Cyrano's Bistro and Wine Bar will be offering delicacies like bone marrow gateaux, some locals are not happy. One man said "I don't want some mutt sniffing at my shoes while I'm out spending money and trying to impress my date".

Well, to be honest, he is SO missing the point. As any man will tell you, including the Mistress's other half, as soon as you have a pet pooch by your side you are a babe magnet. Yes, it's true. The Mistress's other half couldn't believe his luck when he took me out - alone - for the first time. Plenty of pretty girls smiled at him (well, of course they were smiling at ME but I let him believe they only had eyes for him) and some tried to engage in chat all about...ME!

Suddenly he saw me in a different light and realised I could be the missing link to a day out in sunny London with lots of eye candy giving him the eye! Of course, it works in reverse too, as the Mistress can testify, but we keep that to ourselves!

My advice to those Chicago residents who fear this change is - embrace the new ruling. You never know, you could get lucky at dinner; let's not forget, all the beautiful people like a dog!

Woof Woof

You’re Bootiful (apologies to James Blunt)

Now, like any self-respecting dog, I like the odd bit of turkey. So does the Mistress’s other half, as it happens, because it’s a low-fat, lean meat, perfect for those – human and canine – who are watching their weight.

So, be honest now, when you think turkey, you probably think…Bernard Matthews. You probably can hear his Norfolk accent, saying the words “absolutely bootiful”, as it used to in the adverts.

Personally, I’m not sure if Mr Matthews was referring to the turkey or the profits his birds turn in. £35.8 million at the last count (for the year ended 2 January 2006).

And Bernard Matthews (the company) would have you believe that they have turkey production down to a ‘t’.

Well, if you’re making that sort of cash, something usually has to give. And in this case it’s welfare. Apparently, the Matthews empire has been criticised for alleged cruelty before, which the company has refuted. And so it comes to pass that, lo and behold, Bernard Matthews is in the headlines again. For cruelty. In today’s Mirror http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/tm_objectid=16984564%26method=full%26siteid=94762%26headline=exclusive%2d%2dthe%2dbird%2dbatterer%2d-name_page.html, the company denies it but when faced with actual footage – no, the cameras aren’t lying – the turkey empire is struck dumb. And the BBC has run the story too http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/norfolk/4940366.stm. And let’s face it, post-Hutton, they check, double check and triple check their news output. And suddenly the Bernard Matthews PR teams are back-peddling like mad.

Thank goodness they didn’t show the whole footage, available from http://www.hillside.org.uk/ (and definitely not for vegetarians!)

I know none of you would touch a Turkey Twizzler if your life depended on it. And certainly not after Jamie Oliver condemned them on School Dinners (Channel 4). But just in case you get stuck in Sainsbury’s late one night after work, and Bernard Matthews is all that is on offer, stand back and put the packet down. Instead, check out the organic alternatives online:

http://www.woodlandsfarm.co.uk/main_pages/turkeys.htm or there’s a list of organic suppliers at:
http://www.soilassociation.org/

And then you’ll know – with absolute certainty - that what you’re eating really is ‘absolutely bootiful’!

Woof Woof

Move Over Yummy Mummies

Yes, it's game over for the yummy mummies. You knew it would be when there are books on sale about how to be one, how not to be one, where to spot one (easy - West London!), what they wear, what they definitely don't wear, blah blah blah.

Who cares whether you've got a muffin roll (synonymous with trying to be a yummy mummy) or a mum-tum as the Mistress's best friend likes to call it? Who cares if they try to outdo each other with competitive mothering - bugaboo versus cheaper alternative? Disposable versus sackcloth and ashes? Yummy mummy just equals plain old keeping up with the Joneses!

Anyway, that’s all old hat now because what I am interested in is...yummy chummies.

Now, don't worry, this isn't some sort of euphemism for a glamorous friend (ie more glamorous than oneself). Oh no.

Yummy chummies (www.yummychummies.com) are...tasty snacks for dogs! And credit where credit's due because they're produced by a company called Arctic Paws. And no, this isn't shameless publicity because I'm on a retainer - far from it! I just really like the sound of them and hope the Mistress will find a way to get them shipped straight to ME!

I don't know whether all this fish production is ethical right now - aren't all the fish stocks shrinking?

But I do know that Mr Arctic Paws ploughs some of his profits back into animal welfare; they recently donated serious amounts (ie thousands of dollars) to Polaris Rescue, which finds homes and foster care for huskies and Alaska malamutes. Some of the Polaris Siberian Husky Rescue team were used in Disney's film, Eight Below, which has been a huge success in America.

So, here's hoping that some tasty gourmet snacks make it across the big pond...

Woof Woof

Would you tuck into your pet's dinner?

If the thought of chomping your pet's food revolts you, think again because, according to today's Sun newspaper, pet food may be better for you than most fast food. Now there's a surprise!

So it's no more pizza, chicken in a bucket, burgers or kebabs for you after a night out! Instead, you should be going down the pet aisle of your local supermarket and seeing what grabs your fancy - Chum, Chappie or Whiskas to name but a few. Apparently this is because pet food is more tightly regulated than human food and contains less of the bad guys - salt, fat and sugar!

Personally, I can't see the Mistress tucking into what she serves me - those dreadful brown pellets. They cost an arm and a leg and she can only get this food from the vet. Of course, I HAVE lost weight without having to resort to training for a marathon so maybe, just maybe, she'll be sneaking in a handful or two of my food....

And those cheeky chaps at Wapping (The Sun's HQ) are looking for people who have dined on dog food. If you have, call The Sun on 020 7782 4266. They promise to call you straight back.

Woof Woof

PS if you like the science bits, here they are:

Gourmet Gold cat food has just 2.9g of fat per 100g — EIGHT TIMES less than the percentage found in pieces of KFC.

Cesar dog food uses just 4.4g of fat in every 100g — and has lower salt and sugar levels than many dishes served to humans.

Heaven is a Place on Earth

And it’s called…Progreso! And the one I’m talking about is on Portobello Road, West London.

Why? Because not only do they sell fabulous treats for the Mistress but they also welcome dogs! With arms wide open. In fact, it has a whole wall dedicated to them, including Dog of the Month! The Mistress thinks I will win – paws down – if she enters a photo of ME!

But, to be honest, that’s not the only reason Progreso is a pretty fabby place to go – canine or human. They’re committed to Fairtrade (and why not?) without, it seems, compromising on taste. This is what they say about themselves:

“Progreso coffee bars are the antithesis of the global corporate coffee chain, with better product and real heart.”

Check out their website http://www.progreso.org.uk and you’ll see what I mean. And, instead of giving you a free coffee with their loyalty card scheme, your conscience can stay clear because each purchase contributes to Progreso buying goats for families in Africa, through Oxfam. All pretty cool, eh?

Sometimes ethics can be fun, particularly when you remember to include your best friend!!

Woof Woof

Roadkill Rissoles, anyone?

Are you a vegetarian who objects to factory-farmed meat and that’s why you don’t tuck in? Or, are you someone who will only eat game, believing that it’s the only way to ensure that the animal concerned has had been allowed to roam free? A vegetarian recently wrote that he or she doesn’t touch meat unless it’s roadkill and then it’s ok so, I guess they’re not really vegetarian.

But these are semantics because, according to BBC online, Arthur Boyt from Davidstow, Cornwall is penning a tome (well, recipe book) about his “gastronomic enthusiasm for roadkill”.

He has munched his way through badger, rabbit, deer, weasel, hedgehog, squirrel and fox. Even otter has graced his dining table.

I notice, however, that he doesn’t seem to have eaten any cats or dogs…

But before you start feeling outrage, remember these are animals that have been allowed to roam free. It’s a way of eating a lot of dogs should be following, to be honest. Apart from Paul McCartney’s dogs who are strictly vegetarian - as neighbour Fatboy Slim found out when he slipped them a sausage. He won’t be doing that again! If I get out into the countryside, I’d be tucking into a pheasant if I could.

Mr Boyt explains his meat is hormone and growth accelerant-free. And of course it’s organic. No word on his veggie wife, Su; is she partial to hedgehog hamburgers, I wonder?

Not sure if this is the latest foodie trend or not but apparently Gordon Ramsay has asked Mr Boyt onto his show to cook a selection of dishes. So, watch this space. Roadkill rissoles, anyone?

Woof Woof