Woof Woofington

"He's Just Not That Into You"

One of the Mistress's friends is having a tough time in love. I won't name and shame because that would be beneath a classy girl like me!

When women have problems with their love life, they call in their girlfriends. When guys have problems, they keep schtum. And if they're the Mistress, they decide they want to change their life and get a dog when they thought they wanted a man! Ha ha. I was in the Mistress's life WAY before her other half and he knows it! Anyway, I digress.

The problem with modern relationships is that everyone has a view; do this, do that, say this, don't say that. The book, "He's Just Not That Into You" was aimed at women to stop them wasting time on men who were wasting their time (and energy) BY NOT CALLING. But let's face it, we all want what we can't have - dogs and humans!

If you check out USA Today, you can find an article all about the book:

http://www.usatoday.com/life/books/excerpts/2004-09-08-hes-just_x.htm.

Here's a bit that made me laugh...

IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE GREG

We did an incredibly unscientific poll where we polled twenty of our male friends (ranging from ages twenty-six to forty-five), who are in serious long-term relationships. Not one of their relationships started with the woman asking them out first. One guy even said that if she had, "It would have spoiled all the fun."

What You Should Have Learned in This Chapter

• An excuse is a polite rejection. Men are not afraid of "ruining the friendship."

• Don't get tricked into asking him out. If he likes you, he'll do the asking.

• If you can find him, then he can find you. If he wants to find you, he will.

• Just because you like to lead doesn't mean he wants to dance. Some traditions are born of nature and last through time for a reason.

• "Hey, let's meet at so-and-so's party/any bar/friend's house" is not a date. Even if you live in New York.

• Men don't forget how much they like you. So put down the phone.

• You are good enough to be asked out.

And the reason it made me smile is that the Mistress had to do a bit of the running herself!!! Her other half never uttered the words "Will you go out with me?" even though he used to phone her EVERY day!! So, either he's not that into HER (not like me!) or sometimes there are exceptions to the rule.

And as for her friend, well, we're hoping she'll move in with us (if it doesn't work out but hopefully the man in question will realise a gem when he sees it) and then she can borrow me and I will find her a VERY eligible man! After all, having a dog is a total babe/hunk magnet! Ask any dog owner...

Woof Woof

Jasper – Canine Host with the Most at Maunsel House - Particularly Gay Weddings

If you're a dog lover or follow canine news headlines, you may be familiar with the story of Jasper, currently owned by Sir Benjamin Slade but formerly of Battersea Dogs Home.

Jasper, a Labrador-doberman cross, was bequeathed, according to tonight's Evening Standard, to Sir Benjamin with a £50,000 trust fund when his brewery heiress owner died. Those investments have doubled in value so Jasper is now sitting on a fortune for £100K. Not bad for a rescue dog! Check out http://www.maunselhouse.co.uk/jasper.html for the full story of Jasper's rags to riches tale.

Jasper - now aged 13, or thereabouts - is not allowed, however, to be idle in his dotage Sir Benjamin is hoping that Jasper will lure couples, particularly gay couples, to hold their wedding at Maunsel House. “Jasper will give us the edge in attracting weddings...He is the perfect best man. He likes cleaning up leftover food, and I can promise couples that he will not make any embarrassing speeches....I should add that he has been castrated.”

And as he explains on http://www.pinknews.co.uk:

"Jasper is absolutely perfect for the role. For one thing, he is gay himself.

"He may also appeal to the more cosmopolitan among potential same-sex suitors as he is anti-hunting, a pacifist and probably supports New Labour."

I think Jasper sounds pretty dreamy and maybe, indeed, the perfect best man. “Jasper is as much of an attraction as the house itself, and is happy to show off his domain to those who ask him nicely!”, announces the Maunsel House website.

What more could today’s modern couple wish for on their special day?

Woof Woof

My furry Valentine

So, another financial company (www.swiftcover.com) has found out what many of you know already - one in three Brits admit that they'd prefer to snuggle up to their pet rather than their partner. Well, of course they would!

If you've seen the recent HSBC adverts, we Brits are not alone...(and congratulations to the creatives who dreamt up that particular storyboard)!

Apparently, people send Valentine's Day cards to their pets, too. Blimey! I must admit that the Mistress has NEVER sent me a card on February 14 so I must be doing something wrong! Even though the Mistress hates the commercialisation of this day, she always makes sure she gives one to her other half. He has yet to persuade her that eating out on this special day is worthwhile. She vetoes any suggestion of venturing out à deux!

So is Valentine's Day really about the pets?

Marketing director at swiftcover.com, Tina Shortle, says: “It seems some people’s pets may be more pampered than their partners this Valentine’s Day as traditional romance is replaced with spending quality time with our pets.

“Brits are well known for being animal lovers, but preferring to spend time cuddled up with the dog or cat over a partner reveals man’s best friend is the primary object of many people’s affections, with gifts and pampering sessions lavished on their pooches rather than their Valentine.”

So, who knows what tomorrow will bring?! Maybe it really will be MY lucky day.

Woof Woof

Beware the green-eyed monster

No, I'm not talking about a new toy character about to enjoy global domination...I'm talking about jealousy.

Apparently, scientists at Portsmouth University have discovered what we've known all along - dogs can be jealous. Well, hello!!! Of course, we can be and we let you humans know quickly enough. Just ask any dog owner what happened to their pet when the owner found love (with another human)...

And let's face it, we know from Diana, the late Princess of Wales, that three in a relationship does NOT work!

Apparently, based on the responses of 1,000 pet owners, the research concludes that dogs feel jealousy and anger when in a so-called love triangle with their owner and the owner's other half. And they won't hesitate to interrupt romantic moments!

They research challenges the common-held belief that only man and chimpanzees experience jealously and pride.

Only this week, there has been amazing footage showing grieving elephants, emphasising how much more there is to find out about this planet's creatures.

Dr Paul Morris said: "The data shows that animals have rich emotional lives."

Well, of course, we do! As for being jealous, I'm not really jealous of the Mistress's other half because that would indicate that I see him as a threat. I know and he knows the true hierarchy in this home - it's me, the Mistress and then him. So what if she's decided he's the one....

Am I bothered (or should that be "bovvered")?

Woof Woof

Best in Show

Yes, I know, I know, today is the day of love - St Valentine's Day - and I am still waiting to see if - like other pampered pooches - I get a special card and a gift. Something like heart-shaped cookies (chicken flavour) or doggy chocs (bone shaped)...

The Mistress and her other half have not exchanged cards or gifts this morning but have promised to do it tonight. We'll see. Sadly, with them both detoxing, a romantic dinner a deux is out. But I know the real reason is so that they can be with ME! Oh yes. Because, let's face it, I am the love of their life! Well, hers, at the very least...

A high proportion of owners have admitted that they will be buying their precious pet a special something to mark February 14.

But this day is also significant for dogs over in New York - and for a completely different reason.

Tonight they will judge BEST IN SHOW at the Westminster Kennel Club's Annual Dog Show. It's a bit like the doggy Oscars, if you're into your pedigrees. The film, Best in Show, tells it as it is!

I wonder whether they will mark Year of the Dog by choosing a hound with a Chinese heritage as the winner, such as the Shar-Pei - currently being used in ads in the UK for anti-wrinkle cream( !) - or the Chinese Crested something or other (not really a dog in my mind, since it has no fur on its body...). Or, how about the Pekinese - often dubbed the walking wigs of the dog world?

I can't predict the choice but those US dog lovers have not been deterred by snowstorms and the show must go on!

With the Westminster Dog Show always a couple of months ahead of our own Crufts here in the UK, I wonder whether we will get an inkling about this year's potential winners. In the same way that the Golden Globes are used as a dry run for the Oscars. Only time will tell.

In the meantime, and given it is indeed February 14, make sure you tell the one(s) you love that they are always the Best in Show!

Woof Woof

Will you be my…Valentine?

I know, I know, it’s not even the end of January and already I am raising the tricky subject of Valentine’s Day.

Yes, the Mistress and her other half have been known to celebrate this day of love but I know in my heart of hearts, that the Mistress has just one true love of her life. And that’s ME!

Yes, she may well have left out a copy of Metro from earlier in the week, with a less-than-subtle hint about February 14th, specifically for her other half to see. For the paltry sum of £100,000, they get to eat alone at the Oxo Tower, having been pampered earlier in the day. What’s the point of that if you can’t show off your Valentine glow? You also get some shopping thrown in and a trip to Paris at the end of the evening. The closing date is…Friday. So you see, I am not too early to remind you all that it’s only three weeks away.

Of course, this is where her other half can score some brownie points; if he says no to this because he thinks “we should ALL be together”, that should get him off the hook. He’s done it before. I know how his mind works!

As it is, I think the Mistress could have done better for herself. And for me too, if the truth be told. Where’s my lifetime partner? Her other half told her that he “wasn’t big into pets” when they first started dating. Surely that was a warning sign, if ever I heard one?

What she really needed to do was get US (yes, her and me) onto DateMyPet.com, “an online meeting place and information site for pet lovers the world over”. Yes, it’s full of stories about people coming together because of their pets!

Now that really would be a match made in (pet) heaven!

Woof Woof