Woof Woofington

What about Inca? Ben Fogle's Extreme Dreams

The Mistress has discovered Sky+, which allows her to watch all sorts of programmes that she would never be able to see in 'real time'. Ben Fogle's Extreme Dreams is one such item.

Apparently, this series is already halfway through but she heard those Loose Women talking about it today and she decided to tape it! Well, Sky+ it!

I think she liked it but I found myself wondering where the dogs were! I've got to come clean, I have met Ben Fogle (oh yes) and his dog, Inca. She and I used to frequent the same park. We have met them several times, even in the pre-Castaway days when Inca was a puppy (and SOOO cute, if I say so myself)! Mr Fogle junior (I know his dad, Bruce Fogle, too - he's the Mistress's hero!) is lovely - he always made a fuss of me - so I won't her him dissed!

Anyway, my concern about all his adventures is...what about Inca? I know she's looked after and gets on well with his wife's dog, Maggi (all documented on his website) but surely man and dog need to be together?!

But Ben has important work to do - he has to help people realise their dreams and, sadly, there is no room for his black Labrador. This time! I hope Inca will come back on our screens soon; I think she could use her own canine charm to good effect.

Woof Woof

PS Tomorrow I am going to write about a new dog blog I have found (well, they found me). And I am very happy to discover they are linked to one of the Mistress's favourite charities, Hearing Dogs for the Deaf.

Catwalk Dogs

Well, at last, something to distract me from being stuck in the very boring countryside. ITV is showing a British film starring...dogs! Yay! Catwalk Dogs (www.itv.com/Drama/contemporary/CatwalkDogs/default.html) is all about the wonderful world of dog shows, apparently.

The Mistress has only ever entered me for one show and I came second. Not bad. I think the Mistress was slightly miffed though because she thinks I am PERFECT!!! Well, of course, I am! But a dog show judge isn't going to appreciate all my special qualities in the show ring, are they?

And now the Mistress has phoned her Mother to say that one of her friends and THEIR dogs are going to be in the film, too. I don't believe it; my one chance of celluloid stardom and the Mistress misses it!

Catwalk Dogs is written by Simon Nye so it's bound to be good. Enjoy!

Woof Woof

Dogfighting Undercover

Want to be depressed? I mean really depressed? Then watch tonight's Panorama. One thing's for sure, the Mistress definitely WON'T be tuning in; she'll keep her evening light with Big Brother - it's the penultimate night, after all. Tomorrow night we'll all know if Brian's won or whether the Twins will romp home!

Of course, if it were up to me, I'd vote Ziggy but that's because of Molly. That guy LOVES his dog - you can't fake that emotion! Forget Chanelle; Molly's his girl!

Anyway, back to the pitiful lives of the pitbulls and the very dirty business of dog fighting. I don't know what the answer is but I know what I'd like to see done to these guys. According to BBC online news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/6970354.stm

"The team went to Finland and bought a pit bull from a breeder, who provided fake documents identifying the dog as a boxer-Labrador cross.

"They also witnessed a fight in Finland which ended in the death of one of the dogs, and where a badly injured dog was wired to the mains and electrocuted."

I'd fry those f***ers alive! Sorry, I don't normally resort to such bad language but I'm incensed!

And as if we didn't need further proof of the breakdown of society in inner-city Britain (the shocking murder of Rhys Jones to name but one), the Pananorama reporter observes:

"Even before Ellie Lawrenson was mauled to death by her uncle's pit bull on New Year's Eve, people in Liverpool knew what the dogs could do," she said.

How is it that these people have become so disconnected? Why has it happened? One things for sure, innocent people and pooches are paying the price.

Shocking and shameful.

If you check out Radio Times, this is what they say about the Panorama programme on BBC One tonight:

Investigation into the secret and dangerous world of international dogfighting. For a year and a half, a BBC undercover team operated alongside dogfighting gangs in the UK and Europe, capturing on camera the savagery of organised fights. The film also reveals how American pitbull terriers - a banned breed created to be the ultimate canine gladiator - have been sold by the gangs into inner city Britain.

Dog-tastic TV has reached a tipping point

My goodness, if you don't own a dog, you might have been a bit overwhelmed by all the dog TV currently on air.

On Tuesday night, there were three separate dog programmes on terrestrial TV, which must be a first?

Kicking off proceedings was the BBC's new programme, The Underdog Show (http://www.bbc.co.uk/underdogshow/),which had two parts.

I think the intention behind this show is fantastic; it's showcasing rescue dogs from Dogs Trust and pairing them up with celebrities. Here's what the BBC says about it:

"Anton du Beke, Clive Anderson, Huey Morgan, Julia Sawalha, Kirsty Gallacher, Mishal Husain, Selina Scott and Theo Paphitis will set about mastering a series of highly-charged obedience and agility tests, with the added burden of a weekly elimination thrown in to up the ante. Viewers' votes count for 50 per cent of the overall result, revealed in a tense and unpredictable 30 minute live follow-up show later in the evening."

"As the pressure piles on and eliminations loom, which of our celebrities' underdogs will be transformed into the nation's wonder dog?"

The thing is, I'm not sure how I feel about this and I don't want to be churlish! Sometimes rescue dogs get a bad name (but hey, I am rescue so we're not ALL bad!) but this is thoroughly undeserved. And I am guessing that this is exactly what the programme makers wanted to show.

But agility, doggy dancing and obedience - in a ring? I'm just not convinced. Yes, this is a great way to show rescue dogs (history unknown or maybe tragic circumstances) but just imagine, they build up a relationship with the celebrity (if they don't get eliminated) and the trainer and then...get put up for adoption. Hmmm. Isn't that going to confuse them? Or maybe it won't and they'll love being in the show ring.

The good thing is, as far as I can see, is that the majority of celebrities are dog owners and those that weren't, were soon to see just how fabulous dogs can be.

All the dogs are far too gorgeous to single out but Julia Sawalha's chosen canine, a staffie called Cookie, reminded me of one of the Mistress' friend's dogs. She was also a staffie (maybe with something extra!) and had been found wandering on a major road in Birmingham. She was also from the Dogs Trust! She had a fantastic life but was not fan of other dogs so we didn't hit it off. The thing is, I reckon if Cookie comes up for adoption, I think the Mistress's friend may well reconsider (sadly, their staffie went to the big kennel in the sky almost two years ago).

So I wish The Underdog Show every success and I hope it does a lot of good for rescue dogs. Theo Paphitis who was eliminated, with his dog Claudia, surprised everyone by choosing to keep her, so Claudia won't have to be rehomed to someone she doesn't know!

My only beef with this programme is that the money raised (you call a number to vote!) goes to Children in Need. Now I think Children In Need is a great charity but why have a programme about rescue dogs - from a charity that receives no government funding (like most animal charities) - and then give the money to a different cause? Maybe Dogs Trust felt that the publicity was worth it but what about the other rescue charities?

And then, after the update of The Underdog (so doggy programme number two of the evening), came Half the Dog is Mine from One Life.

This was a surreal programme showing the effects on pets as their owners' relationships break down and a custody battle begins.

Half the Dog is Mine focused mainly on two former Big Brother "stars", Alex and Melanie who got together, in spite of appearing in different years. They got a rescue staffie (Staffordshire Bull Terrier) from Battersea and everything went swimmingly until they split up and...they ended up in court. In the end, Alex won (the dog had been living with Melanie) and Melanie Hill was forced to accept joint custody of the dog and pay Alex's court costs (approx' £25K).

It was heartbreaking to see this dog taken from one home to another via a third party. No wonder their custody-battle victim felt confused and a bit low!

Dogs, like children, deseve better and shouldn't be seen as an opportunity to get back at the ex! But I guess when you're angry, you'll use anything to strike back.

So, a full night of doggy TV but I am not sure I felt any more uplifted for watching it.

Woof Woof

Help! My Dog's as Fat as Me

So, did you have a good weekend? Did it include a few cheeky ones at your local followed by a) a curry b) a kebab or c) a pizza?

Or maybe you're one of the Britons who possibly has a drink problem but disguise it by drinking at home - because the booze is that much cheaper (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/6461359.stm).

Well, whatever you've done this weekend, it's more than likely that you ate or drank a little too much. And that's why Britain is becoming ever lardier, year-on-year. This is a FACT!

Now, here's another thing; people tend to think that if you have a dog, you're more likely to be slimmer...because of all the exercise you do - with your pet pooch. WRONG! Having a dog in your life does not mean, necessarily, that you keep those excess pounds at bay. Because if you overindulge, it's likely you slip the dog a few snacks on the sly too.

Up to now, TV programmes have targeted humans for weight loss (Celebrity Fat Club, Look Good Naked, 10 Years Younger, The Diet Doctors, Gillian McKeith...you know them, you've probably watched them. I know the Mistress has!) And then there have been the doggy versions through programmes like It's Me or the Dog - Diet Special.

Well now BBC 3 have cottoned on to the fact that fat dog may well mean fat owner! I know when I was carrying too much weight, the Mistress wasn't exactly size zero!!! Sad but true.

So, tonight at 8.30pm on BBC3 you can watch.... Help! My Dog's as Fat as Me.

I haven't seen it yet but the scary thing is, "after three months, the remaining three pairs (finalists) head off to face some of the toughest dog agility courses at London's Olympia, where they compete for the title of Fat Dog Champion 2007".

Now don't get me wrong, I applaud the double header of pet and owner shifting the pounds but to be crowned Fat Dog Champion 2007 gives out the wrong message, in my opinion.

It just says, we're lardy and we're proud of it. Why do all the diet clubs crown their weight-loss champions "Slimmer of the Year" - it's not Fatty of the Year or Lardarse of the Year, is it?

Here’s how the programme works, according to the BBC’s website:

Every other weekend for three months the dogs and their owners attend the Fat Dogs Fitness Centre. Under the watchful eye of Julian and his miniature dachshund Lulu, dog behaviourist Amy Hatcher and vet Paul Manktelow, the contestants learn activities from the world of dog sports like orienteering, hydrotherapy and the doggie treadmill.

At the end of each visit is the dreaded Weigh Off where the couples find out if they've worked hard enough to hit their targets. Each dog and their owner face the moment of truth as they step up to the scales together to reveal their joint weight.

And just in case you’re in any doubt who the presenters are, Julian Bennett is from Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, so expect some straight talking!!

The two couples that have lost the least weight then go head-to-head in a challenge based on an activity they've learned during their visit. The losing duo is then eliminated from the contest...

Blimey!

Of course, it will come as no surprise to dog lovers that there are a couple of Labradors in the line-up. Yes, we’re a greedy breed – life IS one snacking opportunity so constant vigilance is required but when you read about Violet, the chocolate Labrador, it breaks your heart:

“Retired Angie simply loves her dog Violet too much. Angie admits she's 'killing Violet with kindness', because she can't resist giving treats to her already overweight dog. All four of the Labradors that Angie owned in the past have died from weight-related problems, and she's determined that the same will not happen to Violet.”

Well, we can only hope that Angie gets the message and that Violet doesn’t make it two thirds of another hat trick of dead dogs.

So, if you’re fighting the flab and your dog doesn’t have a defined waistline, this is the show for you. Enjoy!

Woof Woof

Woof Like to Meet - The Wedding!

Now I don't want to be a party pooper, really I don't but I have to draw the line here.

Did you know that Harrods organises weddings for dogs? Can you believe it? Well, you probably can. Apparently it's part of the "Anything is Possible" season....

Well, ITV's Loose Women decided that what they needed was a good wedding to attend and what better than to have its own doggy wedding in the studio. If you check out ITV's website, you can see the wedding for yourselves www.itv.com/page.asp?partid=6947..here's what it says:

The day finally dawned for the puptials of canoodling canines Charlie and Dolly!

Yes, after sifting through the hordes of hairy applicants and barking bitches, Charlie finally settled on the divine Dolly as his beloved woof-to-be.

Super showman, John Barrowman officiated; now I like him but surely this was too much? I’m even more surprised to discover he took part, considering he is a patron of the charity, Dogs Trust. Surely they don’t condone this sort of nonsense?

Does he know Harrods sells puppies in its store? Yes it does. Go along to the pet department if you don’t believe me. They currently have three pugs in the shop, so if one takes your fancy, buy it there and then... Of course, any dog lover will tell you that this is a big NO NO. Surely Dogs Trust doesn’t endorse puppies being sold in a department store? Oh well, I guess times have changed and I am an old stick in the mud!

And I wonder whether Michael Grade will consider that this is good TV and something that ITV will be doing more of, now that he has taken over as Chairman. Who can say?

Woof Woof

The Sopranos are Back and Tony means Business

So, with autumn nearly upon us - apparently, the heatwave is over for good so forget an Indian summer - most people will be looking to the TV schedule to help them with the transition from hot to not so hot.

You know what I mean; evenings are getting shorter, days are getting colder...blah blah blah.

Well, the Mistress and her other half are no exception; the TV consumption in our home goes right down in the summer but one thing they are very excited about is the return of The Sopranos.

The Sopranos wouldn't normally be my choice; the only dog that featured in the whole run, over several series, was killed. Well, of course, people get clipped every episode but this was not an honour killing. Oh no! The dog was simply in the wrong place at the wrong time; shit happens! But this programme has one redeeming feature; it includes food - big time! So it gets my vote, every time.

I think the top guy Tony Soprano could ditch the sessions with Dr Melfi and get a dog. That way he could walk off his rage (towards his mother and to everyone else, come to think about it).

Anyway, even though this is dog-free TV, we'll all be tuned in to E4 this Thursday. I recommend you do the same. Capisce?

Woof Woof

One Puff and It's All Over

If you grew up with a TV, chances are you got to see cartoons. Lots of cartoons - Bugs Bunny, Road Runner, Sylvester and Tweetie Pie. You get the idea. And more than likely you enjoyed Tom and Jerry and... Scooby Doo.

Well, apparently, there's been a huge hoo ha about Tom and Jerry. In short, a disgruntled viewer complained to Ofcom about smoking in cartoons. And now, in response to the complaint, Cartoon Network finds itself in a no-win situation. Dammed if they do cut out scenes from the originals and damned if they don't.

Quite frankly, I don't get it. If you were going to complain about anything - concerning cartoons - you'd have to say the gratuitous violence could be toned down.

But then again, if you've ever seen a cat in action - killing a bird or destroying a mouse - you'll know real life is a lot uglier!

If kids want to smoke, it isn't because they saw Tom or Jerry lighting up. Let's get real here. Of course, no mention is made of Spike - the real star of Tom and Jerry - I reckon that's because he’s a dog and therefore far too sensible to light up on screen! Period!

Woof Woof

Gordon Ramsay's F Word Says Eat British Veal (or the Calf Gets It - Exported Live, that is)

Well, actually, it wasn't Gordon saying eat British veal but Janet Street Porter. Mr Ramsay just supported her and gave her lots of air time!

Now for you humans, veal is a touchy subject. It's the dish that dare not speak its name. As far as I am aware, I've never eaten veal - well, let's put it like this, the Mistress hasn't ever fed me veal. I think I can safely say we are a veal-free zone.

The Mistress used to be a very strict vegetarian but even she was applauding the latest edition of the f word because it pulled no punches. Check out the website and you’ll see what I mean:

http://www.channel4.com/life/microsites/F/fword/gallery_20_janet_gallery.html

There was lots of footage of calves being exported (VERY distressing) because..we Brits are not eating the by-products of the dairy industry namely veal. And now live exports have just started all over again! Even if you love a veal escalope, do check out Compassion in World Farming's site (linked from the f word's site) www.ciwf.org and see how you can eat with a conscience. No, CIWF is not a veggie-ranting campaigning organisation so don't worry about that! It presents a very balanced argument about how farm animals should be treated – something that chefs, foodies and animal lovers all agree on, amazingly enough!

And let's face it, the vegetarian-hating Mr Ramsay has a point about vegetarians; in a way it is hypocritical of them to tuck into a tasty ploughman’s or a caffe latte but slam the consumption of veal. It's a fact, no dairy, no veal!

The Mistress faced this moral dilemma with her other half; on their very first date they went to Pollo (it was a cheap but cheerful Italian in Old Compton Street) - so you can guess it was some time ago. She ordered something vegetarian and he went straight for..yes, you guessed it, veal! The Mistress was very much in love (ha!) and so decided to say nothing. However, that live and let live feeling has somewhat dissipated. Last night, she made him watch the end of Trinny and Susannah (Gordon Ramsay’s pigs that got slaughtered) so that he could be “informed”! I think he was massively affected by it but will still be tucking into some prosciutto crudo next time he passes an Italian deli....

So, Gordon Ramsay gets the thumbs up in our house; not least because he is showing the nation what’s really involved in the food we all eat – human and canine (in my case!). And his message is very clear; you can eat British veal with your conscience intact! At least you won’t be supporting the live export of baby cows, in hideous conditions, to an even worse fate across the the Continent.

Woof Woof

BBC's Top Gear gets a Top Dog

Despite being a carbon neutral household, we are fans of BBC's Top Gear programme, which is... all about cars.

It started when the Mistress's other half came to live with us; apart from all the boys' toys that accompanied his arrival (Playstation and big TV), one programme could NOT be missed. Yes, Top Gear.

And for a long time, the Mistress gave the show a wide berth. And then slowly, slowly she started to watch it. And enjoyed it! Which, if you think about it, is pretty amazing as she doesn't drive! The Mistress and her other half can often be found laughing their heads off when the show is on.

And now Top Gear has seen the light because they have got a dog! Yes, those canny presenters know a thing or two when it comes to understanding what makes a programme really successful.

The dog is a Labradoodle, whom they wanted to name Prius after the hybrid Toyota car, much loved by eco-celebs like Cameron Diaz. But apparently that would have been "too cruel" and she would "have eaten a lot more than we were expecting".

So now she has been named Top Gear Dog (TGD) instead. Most of the time TGD can be seen lying around the studio, totally unfazed by the lights, camera and action. But she IS terrified of cars!

I cannot comment on reports of TGD's first day of filming; apparently, she was sick all over James May. Why? He seems like a nice guy to me.

So, if you want to brighten up your Sunday nights, I can recommend Top Gear - even if it's just to look at Top Gear Dog.

Woof Woof